the day started off well and ended off well but i let my emotions get the best of me in the afternoon. i was stupid, but i’m human too; when bent too far, i too, will snap. i made up for it by having a solid training session led by the grandmaster himself; good thing i didn’t disappoint him. i’m discouraged with the load put upon me and pulling me from all directions, but i’m more discouraged that i didn’t handle myself better. somedays i’ll have feelings, somedays i won’t; but i’ve learned that i will be okay because something better is on its way
sleeping has been an issue the last couple days. falling asleep has become increasingly difficult; waking up feeling like i never slept last night. i lay in bed seeing the clock strike 2am, then 3am and realizing my alarm is set to ring in four hours. it’s never a good sign when i get agitated easily and don’t feel up to doing anything productive. these days when i am indifferent about everything gives me a terrible and empty feeling inside. could it be the stress and unease as the competition date gets closer??
i was feeling strangely indifferent about everything today, almost as if i don’t have feelings. i should be disappointed at myself for the slippage today, but it’s just a day after many disciplined ones and i will work twice as hard to undo it. certain topics that i didn’t want to see or think about came up and only made me stressed and press a little more. i actually looked forward for sunday to end so i can move on and get a better start. maybe i had trouble getting rest last night and had to get through a full day’s worth of things