day 1144 – morning grub

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i wouldn’t say i’m nearly rested for a day like this, but the grub might make me think i am. had my usual and ready to take on a full saturday that started with errands and seven hours of back to back taekwondo. nonstop until 8pm where i can remember to breathe and think. i was feeling pretty cranky which also lead to some bad and regretful decisions. my knee hurts, but i’ll be back for more teaching and training tomorrow

day 1118 – fell off

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after having fended off my fries craving for a week, i fell off the tracks and finally gave in. didn’t make up any sleep last night after a crazy busy weekend. i felt really tired in the afternoon but strangely couldn’t fall asleep. when i finally did, i only managed eight minutes of napping. i was suppose to go to a house party but didn’t feel like i deserved to so just went for a walk instead. maybe the built up mental and physical fatigue led me to make this horrible decision. i don’t know what went into me, but i just can’t let myself make these poor decisions again

rise and shine

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vacation is officially over. that means it’s time to get back on track and grind again. during the twelve day span that i was overseas, i felt so confined and struggled mightily with gym withdrawal. the days felt so unfulfilling without any real physical exertion. i would hate to live like this on a normal basis. i was dying inside but my parents didn’t understand why i was making a big fuss out of it because they simply didn’t understand what gym and sports meant to me. i, on the other hand, have no intention of explaining it to them. some days they would make random comments relating to my built in hopes to convince me to lessen my exertion. luckily venting to mo has eased much of my frustration; i know he’s well aware of where i’m coming from. back home, training and being active is a major part of my life. i’ve been consistently training and making progress on many levels and i felt good about them. but a dozen days without gym access has set me back really far and now i’m uncertain what i’m capable of. i am actually afraid to find out. i would feel so useless if i find out i’m back at square one. i don’t want to lose what i have worked hard for. i told myself that once this vacation is over, everything will go back to normal – no, it’s going to be even better. i told myself i would rep out all my sets; i wouldn’t be lazy, complain or make excuses. somehow, i need to keep myself accountable and get myself back on track if i stray. i am back in town today, which means i’ll be hitting the gym doing what i need to be doing. the destination is pretty clear, my mind just needs to work with me. it’ll be a long road back, but i must refocus and work harder to negate that deficit. june is a month of many changes and challenges; one that i am going to make things happen. it will be worth it in the end

day 996 – supersets

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friday night spent in my sanctuary lifting and dropping some iron. feels great to be back in the gym regularly after a long layoff from all the recent illnesses and misfortunes. taking it easy this week as i’m told, and only doing things that won’t cause too much discomfort. it’s definitely frustrating having lost so much gains i’ve worked hard at, but doesn’t deter me from working back to my top form. no question i am still feeling the effects but i am also feeling slightly better with each passing day. it makes me a little more grateful that i can do what i do, and i can do what i love

day 985 – imperishable

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it’s true very little can stand between me and my gym, even when my headache and cough is getting progressively worse as the day wears on. was feeling pretty shitty when i walked in, but the gym is a place that ignites me and gives me that boost of energy whenever it’s lacking; it’s my happy place. lots of people don’t agree with my recklessness, but i will do what i set out to do and would rather collapse doing so. i am a tough cookie afterall and i’d hate to skip gym

day 971 – come along

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the last of our lazy days of easter long weekend. i say lazy, but i actually accomplished a lot today with training at the dojo, training at the gym, an exec planning meeting and then more extended training at the gym. buckets of sweat from all that training but no complaints from me. i am completely exhausted from the workload and heavy restrictions, but i will do what i said i would and give it my everything. at the end of the day, no matter how tired, i find myself wanting to be together

day 948 – sweat it out

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i want to say it feels real good to be back in my sanctuary, but realistically i still feel pretty crappy from whatever disease i have. nonetheless, what matters most is i successfully got my butt here and made it through a necessary workout. the sunshine made a unannounced appearance today, but i spent most of daylight in teaching in a basement. good news is after five hours of teaching, i am still in one piece. popping a few pills before going to bed hoping to tame my irritated throat and allow me to sleep