day 1696 Рtreading 

originally feeling pretty crummy after a day of work and taekwondo combo, and really didn’t feel like going to do any running. the perfect sign of gym rat when you autonomously drive and end up at the gym. since i was already there i might as well give it my best shot at completing today’s pre-planned workout. as i was running, i was confused why i even wanted to do this in the first place. i felt a weird appreciation for myself for having made it through the duration even when i did not want to. the size of the task wasn’t the focal point, but the fact i took on something that was challenging to me. i left the gym all smiles, but for sure feeling much better than i walked in

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day 1674 – march madness

march will be focusing on me; not on what others want or need, but what i need and what i want. reason being march will be a hectic month trying to get everything back running in full line and at top gear. i have to be a bit more selfish because i realized i give up too much of myself for people who show little appreciation. i have a ton lined up. i made a few commitments along the way, balancing work and balancing life while staying on top of my diet are all keys to how successful i’ll be

day 1644 – bayside dineout


i was quite reluctant to join in on the dineout vancouver festival, but mom insisted on taking visiting relatives out to a special dinner. aside from the lone boring topic that bored me to death, the dineout menu was actually quite good. i especially liked my appetizer of ahi tuna with mango and avocado. it’s apparent i can never get tired of eating salmon. the striploin steak wasn’t bad but i couldn’t finish as usual but got help as usual. the eating as gone awry over the last few weeks and it has to stop immediately. i told myself after this meal, i’ll gear down and be much more disciplined with my eating 

day 1144 – morning grub

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i wouldn’t say i’m nearly rested for a day like this, but the grub might make me think i am. had my usual and ready to take on a full saturday that started with errands and seven hours of back to back taekwondo. nonstop until 8pm where i can remember to breathe and think. i was feeling pretty cranky which also lead to some bad and regretful decisions. my knee hurts, but i’ll be back for more teaching and training tomorrow

day 1118 – fell off

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after having fended off my fries craving for a week, i fell off the tracks and finally gave in. didn’t make up any sleep last night after a crazy busy weekend. i felt really tired in the afternoon but strangely couldn’t fall asleep. when i finally did, i only managed eight minutes of napping. i was suppose to go to a house party but didn’t feel like i deserved to so just went for a walk instead. maybe the built up mental and physical fatigue led me to make this horrible decision. i don’t know what went into me, but i just can’t let myself make these poor decisions again

rise and shine

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vacation is officially over. that means it’s time to get back on track and grind again. during the twelve day span that i was overseas, i felt so confined and struggled mightily with gym withdrawal. the days felt so unfulfilling without any real physical exertion. i would hate to live like this on a normal basis. i was dying inside but my parents didn’t understand why i was making a big fuss out of it because they simply didn’t understand what gym and sports meant to me. i, on the other hand, have no intention of explaining it to them. some days they would make random comments relating to my built in hopes to convince me to lessen my exertion. luckily venting to mo has eased much of my frustration; i know he’s well aware of where i’m coming from. back home, training and being active is a major part of my life. i’ve been consistently training and making progress on many levels and i felt good about them. but a dozen days without gym access has set me back really far and now i’m uncertain what i’m capable of. i am actually afraid to find out. i would feel so useless if i find out i’m back at square one. i don’t want to lose what i have worked hard for. i told myself that once this vacation is over, everything will go back to normal – no, it’s going to be even better. i told myself i would rep out all my sets; i wouldn’t be lazy, complain or make excuses. somehow, i need to keep myself accountable and get myself back on track if i stray. i am back in town today, which means i’ll be hitting the gym doing what i need to be doing. the destination is pretty clear, my mind just needs to work with me. it’ll be a long road back, but i must refocus and work harder to negate that deficit. june is a month of many changes and challenges; one that i am going to make things happen. it will be worth it in the end

day 996 – supersets

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friday night spent in my sanctuary lifting and dropping some iron. feels great to be back in the gym regularly after a long layoff from all the recent illnesses and misfortunes. taking it easy this week as i’m told, and only doing things that won’t cause too much discomfort. it’s definitely frustrating having lost so much gains i’ve worked hard at, but doesn’t deter me from working back to my top form. no question i am still feeling the effects but i am also feeling slightly better with each passing day. it makes me a little more grateful that i can do what i do, and i can do what i love