day 2451 – snowy disappointment

the forecast was correct as snow fell overnight. it wasn’t a whole lot, so i could still drive my mom’s car to work. i was hit with a bunch of disappointment at flipping tonight. what i felt in december came back again – i felt like i wasn’t getting the same support and learning opportunity. i’m pretty frustrated i’m not getting what i need to make progress. all i ever hear is i’m making progress, i’m missing technique; but i’m not getting any support or guidance as to how to fix that technique or what it is i need to do to get there. it’s the neglect and the constant empty promises that’s really getting to me. maybe my initial gut feeling was correct and i should pack it in because no one believes i can land anything anymore

day 2331 – no headway

i carried around a heavy heart today because i’m not sure what my tricking future holds. today is technically the last class day of classes and i haven’t made any headway. i couldn’t say anything while i was with the gang, but i broke the moment i got home. for the first time, i spilled what my mind and body has been intending to do. it made me think back on all that’s happened and all that didn’t. it hurts me so much that it may have come to an end. all i could do is cry myself to sleep

day 2303 – deterred

felt antsy and wanted to push my foot’s limit a little to see how it reacts. i did some step offs to test absorbing impact and it seemed fine. i then tried to jump onto a small box and that’s where the troubles began. i couldn’t bend very much before my foot gave in and collapsed in pain. no matter how many times i tried, i just couldn’t load my foot properly. discouraged enough, i moved onto test some squat positions and that was also concerning. narrow squat stance was painful but snatch squat stance was doable. i left pretty upset feeling no progress made with my foot

day 2298 – room bound

sadly, i slept in and missed the raptors limited edition shoe launch. spent majority of the time at home and mostly in my room because i don’t want to get anyone in my family sick. it’s been a really weird and rough stretch for me the past few weeks. i’ve dealt with a foot injury where after six assessments by different physicians, the final diagnosis is still u determine to date. yet, i still am restricted to basically not do anything i usually do. i’m now trapped with this sickness tagged as bronchitis, but i also have a cold and both combined keeps me up coughing all night long, and gives me a headache when i’m not in bed

day 2287 – condo modeling

i was feeling pretty emo because i couldn’t go flip, couldn’t play hockey, couldn’t workout and couldn’t do anything sports related. i was suppose to go watch my team play their game, but i really couldn’t get myself to the rink just to sit on the sideline. missing all my games and trainings made me feel dead inside. i was bored so went ahead and modeled a dream unit with the picasso galleria floorplans. i really don’t have an entertaining life besides my sports and active lifestyle

day 2280 – home arrest

the continuation of no work, no driving and little walking basically means i’m under house arrest. i was advised to put on the boot as precautions until it’s confirmed nothing is fractured or broken. i feel utterly useless right now when everything is delivered to me. i fail to see the positives in this situation, but i’m grateful for those taking care of me. i tried really hard to turn my attention to watching some tvb drama and working on my make belief model home

day 2271 – out of reach

i once wrote this list of things i wanted to drill and moves that i want to have. it was something i needed to keep myself accountable while chasing these moves, but none of this is happening and not sure if i’ll ever be able to get back to drilling anything. honest to god, it’s really wearing on me and some days i cry myself to sleep knowing i may never be able to achieve any of these goals. i’m going to put up a fight, knowing so