day 1050 – phlegmatic

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keeping my cool and my emotions in check is never easy, but it’s something i ask of myself. there are days like this when i am unsure about everything including the purpose of my existence. it’s a dull day sitting in silence thinking of my imperfections, and then i would get mad at myself for the imperfections that i have. i would question and question time over time, but would have no answers to any of them. i just want to be better, but i can’t. i feel like a strange child that’s not comfortable with myself

 

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day 749 – lower than low

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having one of those low moments and needing a pick me up kinda day. i think i have developed ptsd and feeling as low as i have ever been. rarely am i able to admit fear but i have no other explanation except exactly that. i haven’t got a solution as to how to fix or address the problem. all i know is it is way past normal bedtime hours but i am lying in bed unable to fall asleep because i am in thoroughly disappointment, it bothers me more than anything

day 709 – bowl of cherries

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life is like a bowl of cherries. that’s how i wish my life was right now, except it’s completely opposite. constant struggles and endless thinking but still no answer as to what i need to do to get past the road block. even when i am tired, i cannot fall asleep at night because my brain is still spinning in circles. been juggling a lot and going through some rough patches, i find myself wanting to think of a solution but when i can’t i just want to escape reality