day 1892 – handed to me

my hand and whole left side has really taken a fair share of beating the past year. first the broken thumb, then the torn supraspinatus tendon, plus the bruised and unknown status of my wrist and now smacked my once broken thumb. it’s frustrating as ever to never have proper moving body to work with. i really could use some full body bubble wrap for protection. tomorrow is the one year mark since suffering a devastating broken thumb, a memory i will likely never forget

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day 1710 – sedin day

forget about dodgeball, i’m watching sedin brother’s final home game ever. the game was simply amazing. it was an emotional night; i found myself feeling the sadness knowing it’s the last time i’ll get to watch them play in this jersey. their final career home game had a perfect ending, as one would have written the script. daniel potted two goals while henrik padded his assist stats on both. to add to their amazing stats, daniel holds all-time record with double digit overtime goals and henrik holds the all-time overtime assist record. one more game in their nhl career, and canucks career. i’m sure there’ll be just as much mixed emotional heading into that game. “don’t cry because it’s over, be happy that it happened.” they have certainly left a great legacy 

deadened

so much has surfaced i no longer think i can continue on. at times like this when a big life event takes place, is usually when the true self becomes apparent. the truth is, work, sleeps play, and all extracurricular activities are all of higher importance than going under the knife. it pains me to see the true colours revealed, but it’s necessary so i know not to have any more expectations. the day i was admitted into the hospital is the day i decided there’s nothing worth saving. i asked myself if i can accept the treatment and care i received, and sadly the answer was no. the bar that was set pretty low cannot be moved any lower. i deserve to be treated better and i know that day will come when i get the proper care. for the time being, i’m going to keep my cool and keep the words to myself because there’s no point in voicing what would never be understood. i can no longer hold everything inside of me; my mental, emotional, spiritual state of mind is dead. all i can do is shut all those down and smile to appear okay

beyoncé – if i were a boy

it makes me sad listening to this, but it also resembles the current. a lot goes to show that i’ve been taken for granted. it’s true that a guy will never understand what damages they make with a little mistake. once done it can’t be undone, once not done it cannot be made up for. i’ve lost all hope in making this a meaningful relationship if i can’t feel any care or support. i can’t make you better and i don’t want to change a person, but i have an option to move on. this really is the last of it and maybe one day, it’ll finally click

Aga – 一加一

she has a pretty good list of songs that’s worthy of staying on my car music album. i like this song but i don’t even know why. just something that i would like to listen to in the car and wouldn’t get tired of it even when it’s on repeat. i guess one plus one does equal two and that there’s possibility out of every seed you plant. everything you see is all about perspective

resolution series: [thirty] save up

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often when the the topic of saving comes up, everyone immediately thinks of the bling. but sometimes you have to look at a broader picture of wealth. by definition, wealth means assets; it does not only come in money value, but also comes in knowledge and experience that you possess and the quality of people that surround you. i consider my family an asset, for they are who have raised me, who taught me everything i know and gave me everything i have. i share all my past with them and they do the same with me. the amount of support i receive from them over the years is immeasurable and cannot be calculated in any currency. friends is another asset, because they are who you grow up with, learn from and play alongside. together, we shared countless memories that no one can take away from us. and then of course there’s the financial side of wealth, which unfortunately no one can live without. to save up is to make sure you retain those valuable connections with family, friends, teammates and soul mates. for those you want to continue growing old with, treat them well and take care of the relationships you don’t want to go without. being successful starts now, in planning ahead and building up for the future in all aspects including people. every small increment will grow and over time and will add up over time

…and that concludes my resolution series. hope you found it enjoyable to read as much as i enjoyed writing it

day 666 – long visit

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this is me being super bored when i had nothing better to do while waiting with not much doing at appointment this morning. i knew it was going to busy but had to squeeze it in before physio leaves to check up on my banged up legs and body. today also marks the fourth anniversary of my first foot fracture. never forget what i went through, always remember how hard i worked to stand back up. it’s a good feeling to look back and see how far i have come since being removed from the fracture and on my way for bigger and better things