face it

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after getting some unexpected news on unreasonable competition policy and feeling rather disheartened, i have really let it slip and fallen off the tracks completely. at a point where i am getting the feeling i am on the verge of giving up and hanging it up because it no longer satisfies me the way it used to. maybe i am feeling the pressure of all the expectations and i worry i won’t live up to it. or it could be the preposterous conditions and requirements the school is imposing that’s making me feel like they are denying our opportunities to grow and improve. it scares me to have the feeling that the competition doesn’t mean as much to me anymore because my interest doesn’t lie within the provinicial level. i don’t want to lose sight of the intended goals and give up on the things i have been striving for all this time because i am not ready to let it end. given the circumstances and the time constraints i have to work with, i can’t afford to have any off days that will ultimately put me two steps back each time. really needing a little push to get back in the groove, because it’s coming up so soon and time is a pressing issue. it’s a challenge i will have to face and push through the mind block no matter how much i disagree with their decision

day 557 – lazy days

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continuing with my restful recovery week and lazy days turned out to be not so lazy afterall. the entire week has been very uneventful and least flattering, being stuck at home and unavailable for any physical activities made me feel beyond useless. i felt less dizzy today so decided to go to the gym and if i get through that without lasting ill-effects, i am heading up the mountain tomorrow

day 262 – ankle problems

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back to physio where i belong. overall i am feeling relatively well considering a prolonged gap since last appointment. the major concern is my ankle stability has been blatantly obvious to me it’s getting worse in the recent days but very puzzled as to what’s been different to cause this change. need to find the root of this problem to fix and improve to withstand the stress and demand for training to my important upcoming events