day 2413 – millie

this week didnt start off well and has felt off. i didn’t feel like going to work any day this week and been procrastinating on all my projects. also been consuming a lot more coffee than usually, sometimes more in the afternoon just to stay awake. i don’t like any interaction with millie, but i’d rather walk over and bug her while she sleeps instead of doing my work. maybe it’s a clear a sign i need a day off soon just to recoup

day 2079 – private gym

hitting up friend’s private gym just so i could get some quiet time away from people. it’s been a rather draining week at work when i got a few curve balls at the end of last week. i got all my renderings done one day before the deadline. the stress not only made me sleep deprived, but also caused extreme lows for my blood pressure and i almost fainted in the morning. still, i wanted to hit the gym and do my deadlifts and pullups. the weight felt super heavy, but at least i got it done

day 2074 – killarney class

my weekly saturday ritual is all about teaching at killarney and the new civil war season that just started up again. it was a crazy hectic shift. the first class of the term is always busier, but also had to worry about preparing students for the belt test while teaching with two fewer instructors. i enjoy teaching, for that reason, my work week doesn’t end on friday, and sometimes doesn’t even end on sunday. sometimes i could use a weekend off

day 2065 – river road stroll

a sunny stroll along river road is what i needed just to clear my mind. let’s face it, i’ve been super burnt out from work and other things that i’ve have sort of lost myself. this is a reminder sometimes i need to slow down the pace to simply smell the flowers and take in the moment. i miss the days where i could take walks without stress, without rushing from one place to another. i take on a lot to please everyone, but maybe sometimes i just need to put myself on the priority list

day 1788 – stranger things

img_20200130_21205677140746512928020.jpgi’ve failed to do any of my heavy lifts for a while now because i’ve been so occupied with many things from all directions. to be honest, i think the number one cause that’s keeping me away is being overworked at work. i’m constantly stressed and sleep deprived, i think more than half a year without vacation makes me more weary than i know it. there’s not much of a work life balance and that needs to change. i’m going back to the drawing board to map out what needs to be done to get myself back into equilibrium – that means going back into the gym doing things i love

day 1463 – bpm meetingĀ 

img_20200203_1531325212050968027528332.jpgmid week morning meeting is tough without a splash of caffeine. i was suppose to take a half day off last week but that didn’t happen. the form was filled out and sitting on my desk since mid july, but finding an appropriate day to take my half day off is harder than i thought. if i continue to fail, it will turn into twenty days of consecutive work. working fifty seven hour a week is like a fourteen day work week and i definitely don’t want to get sucked into doing that like before

day 1134 – september blues

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it’s one of those hump days i could go without. i had a restless night wanting to vomit but couldn’t. i had a bad dream which made me concerned about the many make belief scenarios going through my head. i woke up with more pain than yesterday; it hurts to do basic things including breathe. i can’t quite describe why these thoughts are going through my head. let’s pretend it’s just part of the september blues, or maybe it’s just the back to school feeling after labour day