day 2174 – squinty park

a lifting session at apex before a softball double header. despite my back and neck not feeling normal, i still felt strong on front squats and lighter muscle snatches. not a fan of squint lake park because there’s so many mosquitoes around. even though i had bug spray on, i still got bit in the leg. hopefully i get to the bottom of this back and neck issue that’s causing so much discomfort becuase i’d hate to go through another week with so much unexplained back pain

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day 1765 – kp time

decided living off tape to walk normally wasn’t sustainable, so went in to the clinic to fix my neck, knee and ankle. i walked into physio clinic with many things that was either tight or wasn’t feeling right, but walked out with assurance i’ll be able to move properly again. crazy its been twenty years since my physio opened this clinic and even crazier thinking what i would have done the past fourteen years if it weren’t for him. i hope he never retires so i can continue to ham with everything i do and everything i want to do

day 1580 – massage

a stop at the massage therapist after trucking along the many nonstop days and nights. there isn’t really a good time or spare time to release the built up stress from my driven lifestyle. when i look at it again, tasks will forever be never-ending because one task’s end is another task’s beginning. i can’t let myself break down, then i’ll only be less fulfilled. from the looks of the swelling, still makes me worried something has gone awry and think it’s best to make time to get it checked

 

day 1576 Рpre black friday 

getting in early on the pre black friday sale which is pretty high on my shopping list. the first of many items i bought is a pillow that’s big enough i can comfortably with miumiu. a pillow i should have bought long ago that will serve me better and rid some of my sleeping woes and neck pain. i can’t wait until the rest of my stuff comes in to complete my makeover

 

day 1381 – waking up

i am getting more irritated and more concerned waking up every morning feeling like a train hit me. i can’t move my neck to look down at the ground and cringe every time i need go bend over. these restrictions isn’t working for me and it’s only a matter of time before i explode. there’s so much i hate about my life at this point because it doesn’t allow me to move or play at will and i’m simply dying from gym withdrawal

day 1380 Рthe mopes 

this is the time when i don’t want to have feelings because i only feel pain. it’s atypical for me to complain about pain and let the pain affect my life, but this is not normal when i can’t even move my head to look down or rotate my torso to get up. not quite sure what the hell is going on with my body besides life being hell right now. it’s frustrating me so much if affects the entirety of my life at the moment

day 1379 – icbc rehab

the bad just got worse and now i’m put on a long chiro rehab program through icbc. the quality of life is just not there at the moment and i really want to give up. there’s no comfortable position between sitting, standing and laying down; basic mobility is compromised to the point where the pain keeps me from sleeping. it’s been a horrid week sleep deprived, not being able to go to gym, not playing sports like normal, not able to be myself. it’s asking for too much from me when i have reduce some of my physical activities and even hold off in some cases. i try not appear in pain but even staying strong has its limits and i’ve reached it. i don’t know if restricting all my sports is easier or death