day 2174 – squinty park

a lifting session at apex before a softball double header. despite my back and neck not feeling normal, i still felt strong on front squats and lighter muscle snatches. not a fan of squint lake park because there’s so many mosquitoes around. even though i had bug spray on, i still got bit in the leg. hopefully i get to the bottom of this back and neck issue that’s causing so much discomfort becuase i’d hate to go through another week with so much unexplained back pain

day 1765 – kp time

decided living off tape to walk normally wasn’t sustainable, so went in to the clinic to fix my neck, knee and ankle. i walked into physio clinic with many things that was either tight or wasn’t feeling right, but walked out with assurance i’ll be able to move properly again. crazy its been twenty years since my physio opened this clinic and even crazier thinking what i would have done the past fourteen years if it weren’t for him. i hope he never retires so i can continue to ham with everything i do and everything i want to do

day 1580 – massage

a stop at the massage therapist after trucking along the many nonstop days and nights. there isn’t really a good time or spare time to release the built up stress from my driven lifestyle. when i look at it again, tasks will forever be never-ending because one task’s end is another task’s beginning. i can’t let myself break down, then i’ll only be less fulfilled. from the looks of the swelling, still makes me worried something has gone awry and think it’s best to make time to get it checked

 

day 1576 – pre black friday 

getting in early on the pre black friday sale which is pretty high on my shopping list. the first of many items i bought is a pillow that’s big enough i can comfortably with miumiu. a pillow i should have bought long ago that will serve me better and rid some of my sleeping woes and neck pain. i can’t wait until the rest of my stuff comes in to complete my makeover

day 1381 – waking up

img_20200204_155355604508266693072772.jpgi am getting more irritated and more concerned waking up every morning feeling like a train hit me. i can’t move my neck to look down at the ground and cringe every time i need go bend over. these restrictions isn’t working for me and it’s only a matter of time before i explode. there’s so much i hate about my life at this point because it doesn’t allow me to move or play at will and i’m simply dying from gym withdrawal

day 1380 – the mopes 

img_20200204_1554044286597922811444132.jpgthis is the time when i don’t want to have feelings because i only feel pain. it’s atypical for me to complain about pain and let the pain affect my life, but this is not normal when i can’t even move my head to look down or rotate my torso to get up. not quite sure what the hell is going on with my body besides life being hell right now. it’s frustrating me so much if affects the entirety of my life at the moment

day 1379 – icbc rehab

img_20200204_1532211689043998011456866.jpgthe bad just got worse and now i’m put on a long chiro rehab program through icbc. the quality of life is just not there at the moment and i really want to give up. there’s no comfortable position between sitting, standing and laying down; basic mobility is compromised to the point where the pain keeps me from sleeping. it’s been a horrid week sleep deprived, not being able to go to gym, not playing sports like normal, not able to be myself. it’s asking for too much from me when i have reduce some of my physical activities and even hold off in some cases. i try not appear in pain but even staying strong has its limits and i’ve reached it. i don’t know if restricting all my sports is easier or death

day 1343 – atrophy 

img_20200203_1514545690558734088762016.jpgwoke up at the sound of my alarm clock thinking i could go to work but broken is what i am. unable to fall asleep with bad neck and shoulder pain. the resultant of slamming the brakes left me with a whiplash and nothing but pain and numbness on my right side. the range was nowhere near good after treatment, but at least i could lift my arm above my head. lots of ibuprofen until the pain of clunky movements and clicking of joints dissipates

30 share it [ten]

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back at home with a hot shower and just chilling with the need to do some reflection. thanks to chiropractor on site for putting my two ribs back into place so i can play my games today. i wasn’t hallucinating nor exaggerating when i complained my back and neck was out but of course i can only say so much before i realize it’s pointless. i’ve decided on a few things so i don’t get unnecessarily hurt

day 1205 – project time

img_20200204_2142333042103653541804297.jpgdrop the idea of searching for my usb. instead of keeping my hopes up that it will one day turn up, i’m restarting my project because that’s a better use of my time. in the past i might stay upset and dwell on it, but i’m better than that now. what’s done cannot be undone, what’s past is past so just do what i need to do to get the job done. i have already proven to be more efficient the second time around; with one afternoon, the model has of my most basic elements. nerding it out today so i’ll be at the same stage soon enough. not staying up tonight since i barely got any sleep last night with an ailing hip and neck