day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1544 – lonely corner

the cage may be full, but the squat rack on the other side of the gym wasn’t. besides being in the stuffy side, it’s not so bad here. in fact, i kind of like being alone in this lonely corner where i can be me. i must admit i felt the heaviness after enduring the past couple days. my back and hip is feeling funky; must have been the jolt from yesterday’s game. what’s on my glute doesn’t seem like it’s just a normal bruise. had to cut workout short before i do some extra damage to myself. it was nice to walk the park with good old buddy just to catch up and unload

day 1537 – edgy  

my ankle was tender and swollen even after icing the night. haven’t seen a doctor to look at the bone but i was determined to go to nash regardless. so determined i iced on my way to work and while at work. did everything to force it because i wasn’t about to skip another leg day and leave any regrets. i went through my normal routine minus the box jumps. i’ve noticed my strength is returning to me and happy to take that one plate back. good sign squatting and deadlifting didn’t cause any additional pain

day 1520 –  squat hard 

i was definitely frustrated waking up because i stayed up working on payroll and i woke up with another email of explanations. work in the afternoon dragged on and i longed to get out. i didn’t feel particularly good during my workout today and felt weaker than other days. schedule just haven’t had time to hit up the gym. not having done so all week long is really showing in my squats but i still hit it hard knowing i’ll feel it even harder the next day

day 1445 – midjump

powering through easter sunday with some power cleaning. i had to stop my jumps as i heard something in my tailbone midway through a jump. i hope a combination of heat pad, ice pack and advil will alleviate some discomfort because that’s the last thing i need to take with me on vacation. i did a terrible thing to my parents and feel the guilty that i really owe it to my parents. i’ll make note to never let that happen again 

day 1339 – lift myself

this week has been real rough fighting so much distractions. made it to the end of the work week and lucky to be still in one piece. the take back for this week is how to be one of the pillar for my family when called upon. many things have been limited if not put on hold; i haven’t been to the gym as often as i usually do. many things have backtracked and dropped much strength but good to know i still can pick up myself, literally

day 1334 – powering up

hitting the gym one more time this weekend for good measures. power cleans never felt the same ever since my chest took the bar three months ago and i’ve stayed away from big weights cause i was scared. wanted to work on the mechanics of my cleans to dust off the rust and regain confidence. just slowly working my way back but who knew i’d be pr’ing on my third time since the long layoff. i was more than stoked because it was a huge barrier for me