day 1678 – gymery

although i’m not cleared for most activities i do, the surgeon has given me the okay to be here. my gear was ready, my bag was packed while i waited for his signal. it’s the first time in over two months i could legitimately be here in my happy place doing the happy things. a stupid setback happened due to my impatience and inability to stay away. i thought i was okay, i wanted to be okay, but later found out it was still premature

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day 1646 – proceed with caution

first time back in the gym after a crushing injury that left me splinted. i still have a splint on but i couldn’t wait any longer to get back into the gym even if it meant i was just in the environment. during the almost four weeks i’ve lost five pounds which is good but bad. was cautioned to keep it real light and that’s what i did cause i couldn’t actually manage much. i should be prepared that it’ll be a long road back; there’s a lot of rehab and training days ahead of me. i’m happy just being able to step foot in the gym again because it’s really the place i want to be in once i can be

day 1609 – gym needs

headache at work got pretty bad again to the point where i didn’t seem useful and should just go home. but i stayed and kept thinking the tylenol will kick in soon enough. i was only looking forward to going to the gym, and stubborn enough even if i were to collapse during. i really wanted to since i haven’t made up for the missed monday and i wasn’t about to do another shuffle nor write off this week

day 1604 Рperspiration 

my glutes are in extreme soreness and overall body is tired after a workout and coaching session. i forget how much i have to demonstrate when sifu is there. so sore i was in limbo to go workout or not. in the end i went because the blueberry muffin devoured earlier needed to be justified; won’t let myself eat without having exercised. in transition between my program; the increased urgency is the cause of more sweat

day 1599 – power tool

today was my plyo focus day so here i was deloading but accelerating. it was pretty empty at the hour i went so i made good use of it and took up as much space as i possibly could. the power that i used to rip the olympic bar caused scrapes and bruises on my shin. that was a very satisfying session as i unlocked the fear that bands are over my head. clearly i had nothing to fear and my power game is able to handle it

day 1575 – casual pr

my hand still hurt like a beep but going in cold for my second try at my normal monday workout. my crippled hand is still painful to open and close, meaning no deads today but still got to finish the squat portion. i went in just wanting to lift something without judgement, but instead casually matching my post rehab record weight for four, which is upped from last week

day 1555 Рvictim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned