day 1550 – sad truth

what a turn of events in the past forty eight hours; the hours i wish never happened. can’t say i’m not thoroughly disappointed, but can’t let one disappointment dictate how i live. no matter how i move forward with life, i’ll make sure what i choose puts me as a priority. sad but true that those i least expect to care for me cares more than those i thought would take care of me. it’s quite clear with the choices made and the actions taken, or not taken. i found out where i stand – nowhere in comparison to the many activities. any day could be my last day; if today was, one thing i’d regret is settling even not having been treated properly

2016 year at a glance

a look back at the highlights and lowlights of the past 365 days captivated by my carl zeiss lens. a lot has happened and all these snapshots are like puzzle pieces that write my story. 2016 was a year soul searching, a year of adventure and a year of realization. life was pretty grim at times; but it’s how i overcame these hurdles that sets me apart from who i was before. i’ve worked hard and learned a lot about myself and the others around me. i learned that sometimes i need to be selfish because i didn’t love myself for who i was. i learned to carry my own weight. i finally broke out from a plateau and figured out some things; things are starting to click and showing signs of progression. i am excited for the turn of the calendar year because 2017 will be a year of building upon what i have achieved and want to achieve. i’m more than ready to make the necessary adaptations to become the best version of myself and i want my dearests to be there by my side

林奕匡 – 一雙手

a song that’s been looping endlessly especially when i’m at loss of words. sometimes i think i have found what i’m looking for, i have what i want, and then those thoughts vanish. these thoughts leave me hanging and instills a lot of self doubt. lately i’m feeling a little upset at myself and i’m trying hard not to let that to spill over to others. this song resonates for me; it gives me a boost and a reason to continue even when i’m uncertain

2015 at a glance

pulled together snapshots of some of my favourite and not so favourite moments of 2015. through this unfiltered eye, it pieces together my year and the things that took place behind the lens. it was 365 days of ups and downs, but having survived it all made me realize and learn more about myself. i have grown on many levels, taken strides to step out of my comfort zone and in the end, all that made me a better and stronger person more readied to tackle greater challenges. i will take all the lessons learned and head into the new year with the mindset of continuous progress and self improvement. 2015 had it’s moments – building the foundation and laying out the backbone necessary for success. i have a good feeling 2016 will be a year of many breakthroughs and personal achievements

day 850 – my time

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running on my own schedule and doing what i want to be doing. it’s all about taking back the reins of my own life and steering it where i actually want to go, not because i must go. i am thankful for all the support i have received lately, it was a tough decision but i am glad to know there’s so many people backing me up when i need it most. when was the last time i could confidently say i am living with the freedom of choice. that’s living my life

respect myself

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there comes a time when i have to weigh in the goods and bads and determine what is best for me. i must stop serving others and stop doing things for the sake of doing things because life is not about what others want. i have a tendency of putting myself and my own well being in the backseat while always putting others first and making sure everyone else is content. part of the challenge of life is learning everyday, no matter who it may be and what stage of life you are at. lately, the advice crossed my mind to take the courage to step away from the things and commitments that no longer make me happy, that no longer gives me the satisfaction it once did. i feel like i am at a multi directional intersection where it’s time to make changes and decide what i want to hang onto, what i want to do, and what direction and aspect i want to take and improve upon. i would be the first to admit i take on a lot and not all are self chosen. my life would be a lot happier and a lot less grim once i determine what it is what drives my passion, and what commitments i need to leave behind. not saying that i will stop helping others, but first and foremost, i need to ensure that i have time for myself and am taken care of properly. i am urged to think more about myself and less of others; in other words listen to my beating of my own heart because my main purpose of existence is not serving the world. it may sound selfish, but i am simply trying to live and enjoy my life, just like how everyone else is

resolution series: [twentynine] walk away

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you can say life is both long and short. how much you get out of it is entirely up to you because you are in the driver’s seat controlling the wheel and choosing your path. the shotgun may have inputs on which route to take and passengers may try to initiate backseat driving, but in the end, you are steering the wheel and that’s what matters most. somehow i find an amusement park resembles a person’s life at different stages of life. each day is very much like a ferris wheel; there’s a routine and certain tasks you must complete and once that cycles one round, you get up and do it all over again. and then there’s a roller coaster where it takes much time to build up and then go from absolute high to the uttermost low in a matter of seconds, or milliseconds. the hardest part of life is living a life doing things you hate doing. makes waking up every morning that much harder than it already is. it’s time i learn to step away from the things i dread doing and concentrate on striving for the things i like. maybe a change is in order to leave behind the load of what isn’t my responsibility and pursue what i am passionate about. in the end it is taking the good out of the grand scheme of things and making the most out of what you can, not what you are given. if you don’t like what are you doing, don’t follow blindly, walk away and choose your own destiny

resolution series: [twenty] happy

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people can be too judgmental and materialistic these days. yes it’s true, you can’t live without money, but you can’t live with happiness either; and the last time i checked, money can’t buy happiness. sometimes it is the little things in life that makes all the difference in the world.  even as simple as an act of kindness can go a long with in someone else’s life. the ultimate goal is living a happy life and getting what you want out of life. be who you are and don’t let anything change you. do the things you like and don’t let other people tell you otherwise. it’s your life after all, so it’s better to live the way you want than to have someone tell you how to live your life. there used to be so many negative people in my life that always told me what i couldn’t do and what not do to. that’s more reason to prove them wrong and make sure they don’t make such assumptions again. i like my sports and activities. i am also aware that i am made of glass and gets injured easily, but that doesn’t stop me cause that’s what makes me. through sports i find happiness; its my happy place whenever i need to destress or digress. also enjoy hanging out and chilling with my friends, trying new things, eat out, traveling, exploring the city and the world. these things make up me and i can’t imagine my life without them. i will continue to pursue my dreams and passion for as long as i can

resolution series: [six] unimportant things

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life isn’t made equal, but when it comes to time, everyone is given the same amount to work with everyday – no more, no less. since there’s a limit, one can only choose to include so much in their daily routine and screen out all the things that aren’t deemed worthwhile. but even after screening, we must then filter and sort out which of the commitments are priorities and require more attention. there is only that much time in a day to fit everything into my daily life. as it stands, my schedule is already far beyond packed. inevitably take a lot of responsibilities than the amount of time i can afford, too much for my own good cause i haven’t learned to say no. i try not to surround myself with all the drama queens and drama kings out there because i simply don’t have the time and energy to deal with them. drama can only lead to more stress than i can already handle. i need not to be involved in other unimportant business when i haven’t gotten complete control on my life. but until then, i will put my life, my problems, my wants and needs as top priority

resolution series: [five] follow your dreams

imagethere comes a time when self doubts and uncertainties creep into your mind and you wonder if what you are doing is the best thing. unlike math, there is no formula in life that calculates and spits out values or absolute answers of what is the best for you. as long as you do what your heart desires, it is the right thing to do. i feel like the last little while my life has been a roller coaster ride, sometimes soaring sky high and other times simply free falling. recently, i have been in limbo whether i have lost track of what i am doing and if that is still where my interest lies. i don’t want to be endlessly chasing something just because someone said i have to or just doing it for the sake of doing it. been putting a lot of thought into finding all the answers to what i really value, what i want to achieve in life, what i want to be known for, what legacy i want to leave behind and ultimately what path i want to take. i have gotten answers in some aspects, but i still have much to figure out. i understand these money answers will not come overnight because no one will ever have it crystal clear in its entirety and it is something one will take a lifetime to find out. john lennon once said, “everything will be okay. if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” as long as i am progressing, i will let everything come to me and take it one step at a time, one answer at a time. stay true to yourself and don’t be afraid to follow your heart, follow your dreams. it also happens to be my motto i live by