day 1758 – cad conversions

img_20200130_2158243154786680661968357.jpgit’s quite the feeling holding onto these sets of drawings knowing i’m over sixty percent through. cad conversion is almost a project on its own that i started managing last year. it’s tedious and mundane work but it must be done for the greater good. i’ve utilized much manpower to get to this point – one full time, one part time and two intern students. hoping that my new summer intern can get what’s left done and we can put this project behind us once and for all

day 1386 – on strike

img_20200204_1533016726079542321668672.jpgtaking things a little personal and realizing i need to do something about it. it bothers me enough to tear up a little. it’s one of those things when i don’t feel deserving and i’m stubborn enough to do it. i prefer not eating and i will feel that way until i can hit the gym again. i’ll get hangry at times, but eating is secondary to being good enough in my own terms – not to mention it conserves time and money. it’s a little easier to get around it when parents are out of town

day 1169 – rattled

img_20200204_2157025212719555131841140.jpgthere are instances when breaking down is the way to continue being hardy. had one of the heaviest conversation that i’ve been evading for as long as i could, but it was one that made my heart feel lighter. little was said within the conversation, everything else said it all. sometimes i’m at a loss of words because everything stays inside, but understand that i’ll always be the person you came to know. it was very difficult to follow through the night with dodgeball and training

day 863 – depot run

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flashback to getting my pipe roller from home depot. i bet the clerk was very suspicious of what this girl is building with pieces of pvc pipe. i go out of my way to doing what i need for maintenance. going to the gym is one of the absolute worst time to forget my phone and that’s exactly what happened today. i felt so lost and naked because i don’t have my headphones and music to get me through the grueling demands. but what needs to be done must be done

day 855 – get it together

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feeling really upset with myself today for making poor decisions. also feeling upset that my hyperextended elbow got worse during dodgeball tonight. not cool especially with my all important playoffs coming up this weekend. no doubt i will turn it around starting tomorrow and stay the course. can’t stress how important it is from here on, no more hiccups allowed. need to constantly remind myself i have important things to do and big goals to reach

day 797 – trying to train

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attempting to train tonight even though my body just isn’t feeling it but got to try anyways. the long battle of my cold continues well into the second week, it just doesn’t want to leave me alone and let me live regularly. i hate feeling like this, but i also hate missing trainings, practices and games even more. weather isn’t helping at all with the change of temperature and earlier night falls.

day 775 – inflexibility

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it’s that time of the month again, or the start of another training season that begins really soon. stretching for real for the first time for what must have been at least seven weeks to see how much flexibility i have lost. man, it’s not a good sign when my legs and joints are feeling this tight. it won’t be fun but i guess that’s what i pay for with my laziness and procrastination. one way or another, i will need to regain the flexibility back in a matter of days. the sporadic laziness during the so called offseason really doesn’t make my life any easier

day 661 – tape up

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spent a good chunk of my saturday night watching playoff basketball, taping myself, rolling out and massaging my ailing groin. i am all taped up in a lot of places i feel like a mummy on a certain level, but i am feeling pumped and ready for action. tomorrow will be a big day for me, it is finally my turn to take my promotion test for a third stripe. just the grandmaster, all my senior instructors, a couple tens of students watching and my pride on the line, no pressure. now i would appreciate very much it if i am able to fall asleep with this stomachache that was also costing me sleep time the night before

day 628 – and so it begins

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just as i had imagined, competition training gets real immediately after the completion of sun run. despite my body feeling good after the race, something tells me my groin is unhappy since it popped a total of eighteen times today – yes i was counting. i’ll let me physio take care of my groin and whatever other problems that may have arised from running that fundraiser. but the training plan doesn’t change, so here i am starting off with some much needed stretching because four weeks of minimal stretching and laziness has caused my splits to diminish

all in a days work

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this reminds me of my physio crew that serves me so well. they have tried to hammer that the feelings of soreness, tired, fatigue, exhaustion are all part of the package because it means the training is working. for all the years they have known me, they must have heard every possible reason or excuse from me by now and no longer adhere to what i say or how i feel. as far as they are concerned, they will push me as hard and as far as they see fit, and give me no breathing room to escape. my reasons have little or no effect on them, they just listen and look at me but do nothing to acknowledge. even when i plead i can’t, their response is only “i don’t care, you have or do it”. so i know whenever something asked of me seems insurmountable, my mind is constantly finding ways to cut myself some slack. but no matter what i say or plead, the demand doesn’t change but all these can’t thoughts comes out so naturally. but i am grateful for their uncompromising and unsympathetic attitude, because they see that i am capable of such and that’s the only way i will get better. it is the main reason i have made big strides in the right direction – towards a healthier me