day 1696 – treading 

img_20200130_2303583260435757429313083.jpgoriginally feeling pretty crummy after a day of work and taekwondo combo, and really didn’t feel like going to do any running. the perfect sign of gym rat when you autonomously drive and end up at the gym. since i was already there i might as well give it my best shot at completing today’s pre-planned workout. as i was running, i was confused why i even wanted to do this in the first place. i felt a weird appreciation for myself for having made it through the duration even when i did not want to. the size of the task wasn’t the focal point, but the fact i took on something that was challenging to me. i left the gym all smiles, but for sure feeling much better than i walked in

day 1055 – bounce back

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a relaxing walk in the sunshine after a strong lifting session. after a couple of less encouraging days last week, i am trying to bounce back by starting off this week strong. spent the first day of summer setting more personal best numbers and exceeding my expectations at the rack. the goal number is in sight and i am starting to believe what i was aiming for is possible; i figured it’s all because my mind was being a baby all along. i’m also happy that i’ve maintained my box jumps even after such a long lay off. i’ll keep working and improving until i reach and surpass all of them

day 950 – monday hustle

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monday stats are usually outrageous, today was no different despite barely regaining my normal capacity. if asked, at the beginning of today, if i could have achieved these numbers by the end of the day, i would have thought that was a preposterously impossible. in fact i was just aiming to make it through training and dodgeball without collapsing. it feels amazing my output was far beyond what my mind thought i could muster. i’m glad i was pushed to work my butt off and make that stats line. i’ll feel the effects tomorrow but it’s definitely worth every ounce of sweat and effort put forth today

day 871 – lift a little

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soreness amassed from this week’s training and physio exercises shouldn’t stop me from my scheduled workout. i went to the gym as planned and was prepared to struggle mighty hard. as i had the weight on my back, i thought the bar felt extra heavy today. it was difficult, but somehow forced myself to finish it and walked off still intact. i was randomly thinking back on my squats this evening, and suddenly realized the weight i had mounted on my bar exceeded what i thought i had. i felt dumbfounded i hadn’t realized it at that time, but pleased that i had done it anyway. it goes to show that the mind likes to play number games and sometimes ignorance is a good test for the body

day 850 – my time

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running on my own schedule and doing what i want to be doing. it’s all about taking back the reins of my own life and steering it where i actually want to go, not because i must go. i am thankful for all the support i have received lately, it was a tough decision but i am glad to know there’s so many people backing me up when i need it most. when was the last time i could confidently say i am living with the freedom of choice. that’s living my life

know no limit

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some things in life take a long time to learn, some things in life take a life time to adopt; many of which that takes longer are the lessons that are well worth the wait. i have been constantly hounded by motivated individuals that tells me limits only exist in the mind and that all records are meant to be broken and surpassed over time. their hard work and persistent ways of beating this concept into me has not gone to waste. i have been working hard on taking their words to turning them into reality, making progress every time i step in for whatever training it may be. i do have results to show for and certainly my mind has become stronger than what it once was not too long ago. being able to do what i couldn’t do last time is a step in the right direction, being what i thought i could never do is my ultimate prize. indeed, this is an important lesson i am still trying to drill into my mind, but i know it’s been slowly getting through to me. i hope my progress will be continual, that i will never stop short of striving for better every single time. one day, i ultimately hope to make them proud of me, to look back and see where i’ve been and how far i’ve come. i want no regrets, and i certainly don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone not having tried my best to achieve what i should very well be capable of

mental game

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bad habits always gets me. every time i feel like i am in exhaustion, i will stop short of completion and make myself believe enough is enough. i have just come to accept the fact that my mental game is not as strong as it needs to be, and that there’s nothing i can do to improve that aspect. this shortcoming is probably an explanation as to why my game has remained stagnant over the years, where i stop short and fail to take my game to the next level. and this only becomes a cyclical process where when i don’t perform well, i tend to hang my head but not focus on finding the underlying problems and dealing with it head on. just today i was reminded that my body is stronger than i think and when fatigue sets in, the mind is usually the first to give in. so when training in and out of the gym, or anywhere for that matter, it is as much training for my mentality as it is for my physicality. it is good that i get to work alongside some of the most motivational individuals because reality is i need constant reminder that i must stop at nothing until i push out the last rep of the last set. the kind of people that are never satisfied and always challenging me to be better and only then will i come to the realization that i can do things i thought i never could. these individuals keep me honest and lets me know that i ain’t going anywhere until i complete it cause anything below my maximum capability is unacceptable.  i think my recent knee ligament that made me forgo my november competition really caused the damage – in a good way. there’s been a recent spark in me that i want it more than ever before; that i am willing to work hard for what i want to achieve and i am going to tackle my weaknesses head on. i no longer want my game to remain the same. i have some ambitious goals to reach and it certainly wouldn’t reach itself. i am ready to take that next step in further enhancing my game, and i am determined to do whatever it takes. the power is in me and it is up to me to train it to work to live up to my fullest potential. i do believe it is in me

what you want

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feel like i am falling off the train tracks and hitting a wall so another check in is required to make sure i know what i am doing. it’s hard to always stay on track, but always got to keep a tab on it and not let myself stray too far and even back pedal too much. when life is a long journey, must aim high and make meaningful goals and achievements to strive for. and throughout any undertaking of any goal requires discipline in many forms that makes the separation. unfortunately that also means times can get rough, minds can get lost and that’s what usually what happens to me far too often. it is important to know that the struggles and hardwork is part of the process and that the progress and eventual achievement will be well worth every ounce of effort i put in. the process is important, but knowing the reaching the top of the mountain and conquering every obstacle is the most rewarding feeling should be enough to keep at it. that i should be proud of reaching and striving, all for the greater good

resolution series: [twelve] mindset

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there’s never one solution to a problem or one route to a destination. different people will have different takes on things and often try to influence you in many ways so to make you see things their way, do things their way. it’s good to keep your eyes and ears open, but sometimes you just have to take a stand for what you believe in and stick with what you think you want to achieve. disregard what the majority of population thinks, so what if the rest of the world sees things differently. i learn that through the years you have to take into consideration people’s advice based on their knowledge and past experience, but there comes a time when you have to make a judgement call as to what you think is right and how you want to deal with a situation. there’s no perfect way of doing one thing. know that it is okay to be different because that’s what makes each person unique. find my own perspective, don’t let others decide and speak for me because it is my life to live. in the end no matter if the outcome is good or bad, know that i will be able to accept the outcome. that is precisely how we grow as an individual

day 662 – third dan status

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it was a uber long test, but i made it. from the moment the test began to the end of the test, i don’t believe i had a chance to sit down. i was up testing and doing my stuff from the very start while the grandmaster and many of the instructors and students watched. taking all components of the test in one go is a massive undertaking, but i knew that i wouldn’t have done it any other way. there were things that i should have and could have done better; but i can live my performance given the preparation time i had prior to this test and being fully exhausted with the amount of things i performed while having little rest throughout. i was beyond drained and overworked when the promotion test was all wrapped up. i am truly grateful to all those instructors who got me to where i am and made it all possible. could never have imagined how far i would go when i first started this journey. i am officially a third dan blackbelt!!