day 1621 – big lifts


had an extremely late night but woke up early with a few things in mind. hitting the gym was mandatory, for today is designated for strength. the few hours of shut eye took a toll on me and took me a few hours to halt the lethargy. since i anticipated on training, i didn’t want to eat and went with the banana i stuffed down an hour ago. making my way to the gym with an empty stomach and was probably a horrible idea. i knew it was going to be a grind, but feels good to still have gotten through the heavy big lifts. with all that delay, i didn’t get any food in me until roughly half past five. need to be cautious not to be malnutritioned where all my meals are jumbled up like today 

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day 972 – oyster sauce

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having a whole broccoli head all to myself because i pigged out too much last couple days. i’ve worked on keeping myself accountable leading up to competition, but the last couple days has been very difficult. all that stress has gotten the better part of me and i find suppressing has been harder and harder. if eating bland is going to get me back on track, then eating bland it is. my eating has gone awry to the point where it’s probably slightly unhealthy

day 703 – after class

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refuelling after a friday night class filled with heavy dose of physical training. the grandmaster was present first time in ages, therefore instead of showing up to class to get some extra practice and drilling poomsae, i ended up doing endless jumping exercises which i wasn’t intending on doing; especially with my messed up back. what made training harder was not only was it thirty degrees outside, but the dojo has poor ventilation and no air conditioning

resolution series: [twentyeight] pity

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everyone has their own problems to deal with, some less complex than others. there’s no secret that i have been plagued with endless injuries throughout my life. i have given up on trying to hide that, because i have learned that patchwork only makes it go away on the superficial level. unfortunately that’s just temporary fix and will keep piling on to account for greater problems. i simply cannot live without the sports and activities which i play, for it is the passion of my life. it won’t be forever, but it is my choice to continue playing and practicing them for as long as i can manage. i do intend on doing everything i can within my powers to do my rehab and maintenance work. my main focus is on getting better and stronger every single day; always be a better version of myself. don’t question my will to strive for what i want just because you have it easier. don’t question my passion to always stay hungry and carry on even when nothing goes my way. don’t question how big my heart is when you don’t know how much pain i have endured. don’t question my toughness if you don’t know what i experienced because very few people have a clue how much work, time, energy and commitment i put into making all this possible. standing on my own two feet was never a given to me, but i learn to be grateful for all the times i can. sometimes i sit alone thinking to myself i don’t deserve to be dealing with all these mishaps and i certainly don’t deserve your bashing or judgement. i need not your pity nor your approval for what i have to go through as i result of what i do. i was given this life and these obstacles because i could handle it. i appreciate those who’s helped me out along the way, it’s meant the world to me. if you have nothing good to say, don’t speak

day 395 – geek squad

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spent my one in a blue moon day off nerding it out staring at multiple computer screens. in desperate need to fix my messed up computer. so much waiting for me to do but without my computer, i can’t complete any of them. goes to show how important technology and electronics are in this day and age, simply a necessity in my daily life