rise and shine

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vacation is officially over. that means it’s time to get back on track and grind again. during the twelve day span that i was overseas, i felt so confined and struggled mightily with gym withdrawal. the days felt so unfulfilling without any real physical exertion. i would hate to live like this on a normal basis. i was dying inside but my parents didn’t understand why i was making a big fuss out of it because they simply didn’t understand what gym and sports meant to me. i, on the other hand, have no intention of explaining it to them. some days they would make random comments relating to my built in hopes to convince me to lessen my exertion. luckily venting to mo has eased much of my frustration; i know he’s well aware of where i’m coming from. back home, training and being active is a major part of my life. i’ve been consistently training and making progress on many levels and i felt good about them. but a dozen days without gym access has set me back really far and now i’m uncertain what i’m capable of. i am actually afraid to find out. i would feel so useless if i find out i’m back at square one. i don’t want to lose what i have worked hard for. i told myself that once this vacation is over, everything will go back to normal – no, it’s going to be even better. i told myself i would rep out all my sets; i wouldn’t be lazy, complain or make excuses. somehow, i need to keep myself accountable and get myself back on track if i stray. i am back in town today, which means i’ll be hitting the gym doing what i need to be doing. the destination is pretty clear, my mind just needs to work with me. it’ll be a long road back, but i must refocus and work harder to negate that deficit. june is a month of many changes and challenges; one that i am going to make things happen. it will be worth it in the end

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dream it

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it’s march, so time for a little self reflection and self motivation to get it together and get things done. but truth is, there’s never a bad time plus there’s always room to give myself motivation because i am really bad with sticking with it. first off, a little recap of what went on in the month of february. needless to say i strayed somewhere in between, but i am stoked i reached some big milestones on the last week of the month. moving into another month means going back to the drawing board to set bigger, better and more ambitious goals. in my calendar, this month is marked down as march madness because there’s a lot of craziness on the line that i cannot afford to lose. i say this with utmost seriousness that this month will really make me or break me. i do plan on achieving lots and making many breakthroughs this month. with my competitions on the horizon, i have to really gear down because there’s no room to falter. rest assured i will be working my butt off to ensure things happen. the two main ingredients i have on my checklist are staying focused on my goals and keeping my discipline in check. working on myself and taking a page out of walt disney that what i can dream up is what i can achieve. upping my self confidence and mental strength is a key factor to killing this march madness. the countdown is on which makes me ultra nervous and at times afraid, but it’s a challenge i must take on and a challenge i will own

snippets of summer

it’s past the mid way mark of september and the weather is looking a lot like autumn season. not everything has gone the way i had planned – in fact, many things have gone awry in the past few months but i can’t complain because all in all, summer of 2015 has treated me well. i spent a fortune to get myself yet another sony flagship phone, had my fair share of summer sweets and indulgence, and more doctor visits and scans were prescribed. there’s always a first for everything including: my first and second ever long hike, took a leap of faith with tumbling and flipping, ample time spent on the beach and in the water having the opportunity to try wakeboarding, wakesurfing and paddleboarding. staying in the game is always important for me as always, with another nationals complete, another walk with the dragon fulfilled, more tennis balls crushed, and of course never escape the physio and injuries aspect of life. my gym quests never stops even though much of the time i feel slowed progress, but slow progress is better than no progress. and even though the physio appointments and kinesiologist lectures never ellude me, there’s a lot of positive improvements in terms of occurences and length of rehab time required to get back into the game. although i did travel to montreal, it wasn’t solely for pleasure but more so for competition purposes. i do wish traveling does happen for me in the fall or winter season. here’s snippets of what went on this summer as proof it happened, that i took a few steps in crossing out some of the things on my bucket list

day 763 – getting sweaty

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despite bouts of headaches and some sort of unknown illness, i was determined to start september on the right foot; the first of september means first of september. august had its ups and downs, but many things are about to change and things are really going to take off in september, i won’t let it slip away without getting what i want. in the meantime, keep grinding even when times are tough

day 738 – get it done

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forgoing taekwondo tonight because i have got lots of question marks surrounding my ankle status. however, i am feeling optimistic that i can go back to class next week and other activities likewise. in the meantime, grabbed my music, headphones, shoes and off i go do to what needs to be done. it’s looking awfully empty in the gym tonight maybe because it’s friday night and the sun’s out, but that works in my favour

resolution series: [twentyeight] pity

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everyone has their own problems to deal with, some less complex than others. there’s no secret that i have been plagued with endless injuries throughout my life. i have given up on trying to hide that, because i have learned that patchwork only makes it go away on the superficial level. unfortunately that’s just temporary fix and will keep piling on to account for greater problems. i simply cannot live without the sports and activities which i play, for it is the passion of my life. it won’t be forever, but it is my choice to continue playing and practicing them for as long as i can manage. i do intend on doing everything i can within my powers to do my rehab and maintenance work. my main focus is on getting better and stronger every single day; always be a better version of myself. don’t question my will to strive for what i want just because you have it easier. don’t question my passion to always stay hungry and carry on even when nothing goes my way. don’t question how big my heart is when you don’t know how much pain i have endured. don’t question my toughness if you don’t know what i experienced because very few people have a clue how much work, time, energy and commitment i put into making all this possible. standing on my own two feet was never a given to me, but i learn to be grateful for all the times i can. sometimes i sit alone thinking to myself i don’t deserve to be dealing with all these mishaps and i certainly don’t deserve your bashing or judgement. i need not your pity nor your approval for what i have to go through as i result of what i do. i was given this life and these obstacles because i could handle it. i appreciate those who’s helped me out along the way, it’s meant the world to me. if you have nothing good to say, don’t speak

resolution series

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starting a new series called resolution series inspired by an article based on 30 new year resolutions people in their 20’s should make or consider making to develop and prepare for the road ahead. the second decade of our lives is when we discover the most about ourselves as a human being, and learn to pave the road for what is to come in the future. this is the perfect opportunity to explore, experiment and experience all our options in shaping ourselves and becoming the person we want to be. there will be difficult times when it seems like there is insurmountable obstacles and challenges that lie between the start to finish line, but just know that it will be worth it in the end. i live by, and am always reminded, that when there is no pain, there is no gain. i hate thinking of the regrets in the past so here i am trying to take my life by the horn and live life to its fullest without regrets. i cherish all those that have entered my life and made a positive impact in all ways possible and i hope i have impacted other’s lives likewise. without your support, patience and guidance through all the ups and downs, i would not have the strength and motivation to continually make improvements. you listened to me when i vented, you lifted me when i fell, you held me together when i cried and ultimately showed me the meaning to true love and friendship. i am grateful for who i have become but i am not satisfied with where i am at. it’s never too late to make resolutions and changes towards a better me