alone late at night thinking long and hard about my decision. truly thankful for all the supportive feedback i’ve received from the people i’ve spoken with on this topic; it made this tough stretch a little less painful. i think i have made my final decision to pass up what i’ve been dreaming of the past half a year – a chance at us open. perhaps having this decision made will end all those nights of waking up at 4am feeling extremely stressed. i’m no doubt disappointed i chose to back out of this opportunity but i feel it’s the right decision at this point. i feel terrible for all those that put their time and energy into getting me ready for this event, i feel bad i couldn’t make it happen. maybe it’s a sign i need to work harder on both my mental and physical game to earn my ticket to a competition as grand as us open. i haven’t given up my competition dreams, it just means i get a head start to preparing and training for the future ones. next up: nationals
when things feel slightly improved i feel like i can be normal again but in reality i am far from it. shouldn’t be playing but here i am in full gear trying to give it a go even though a dozen people didn’t approve of it and tried to drag me off the court. it’s a chance i wanted to take because i wanted to see what state my knee is in and what is it capable of, if anything. what can i say, i live on the edge with a life full of high risks
i made this long weekend the deadline to make a big decision as to which path i wanted to take. i think i gave him enough chances and now i’ve made up my mind that it just wasn’t meant to be. the decision is made and i am happy i did because i will be able to live with that rather than having it linger on any longer. being on the edge of a relationship is tough, but i will be alright because love isn’t life’s entirety; life must go on. i am sure there comes a time when i will cross path with someone that was meant to be
it was a uber long test, but i made it. from the moment the test began to the end of the test, i don’t believe i had a chance to sit down. i was up testing and doing my stuff from the very start while the grandmaster and many of the instructors and students watched. taking all components of the test in one go is a massive undertaking, but i knew that i wouldn’t have done it any other way. there were things that i should have and could have done better; but i can live my performance given the preparation time i had prior to this test and being fully exhausted with the amount of things i performed while having little rest throughout. i was beyond drained and overworked when the promotion test was all wrapped up. i am truly grateful to all those instructors who got me to where i am and made it all possible. could never have imagined how far i would go when i first started this journey. i am officially a third dan blackbelt!!