through it all

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with the completion of an ultra long blackbelt test, i went home and passed out from pure exhaustion. even after it’s all said and done,  i hadn’t really recognized what i had just gone through. it certainly took a few days not only for my body to recover, but also for my mind to digest what i just really accomplished. when i first took up this sport, i only thought of it as a short term activity with little or next to no goals. it’s funny when i began this journey, everyone questioned why i chose this martial art because my legs were already so beaten as it is. being my stubborn self, i did it to prove to those who said i couldn’t do it because my body won’t manage. thinking back, i do feel ashamed that i didn’t have much commitment from the beginning and set a very low goal going in; but a few unexpected circumstances and many small things propelled me to this point. little did i expect to still be practicing taekwondo so many years after and be going for my third dan today. what i also didn’t expect was to be an integral piece of the puzzle, in instructing, coaching and competing; and competing at a level that requires traveling across canada and even out of the country. through competitions, i have turned some heads, gained some respect and earned some recognition both provincially and internationally. i give my instructors a ton of credit for giving me that extra push and getting me to where i am now. i can comfortably sit back today and realize what i had just accomplished is far beyond what i, myself, and the entire population thought i could attain; something that many may never achieve. i know there comes a time when i must hang it up, but that time is not now. i still have some competitions and accomplishments ahead of me, i don’t want to call it quits and not use my skills to its fullest potential

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day 660 – going all in

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it’s all or nothing, like gambling at the casino. the only difference is i am in total control of the outcome. i think i give myself too much pressure cause i have my own standards and cannot afford to lose. i’d be performing not only in front of the grandmaster, the instructors that’s taught me from the very beginning, but also the students that i have been teaching. saved up all my scholarships so i could use it altogether at times like this. saying goodbye to all the awards, now i am feeling poor all over again but at least i am using it for something worthwhile

day 647 – in action

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so this is the big stage at oregon convention centre. it’s my day to go out and prove to everyone what i am made of and i didn’t disappoint. i shone today as i stepped out onto the mats, took care of business and couldn’t be any happier with the results. i came out a gold medallist for pair poomsae and a silver medallist for individual poomsae. the morning seemed to go on forever with long waits and delays between my two events, that i didn’t even get a chance to eat lunch. but it’s all over and guess what, i will be bringing home some hardware

pressure is on

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just days before we hit the road for us world open in portland and i would be lying if i didn’t feel the pressure. experience does help a little, but no matter how many competitions i have competed in, the nervousness and jitters don’t go away. this time there is extra pressure to perform even better because of the competition in my division plus all the kids and parents around. i find myself sitting in front my line of trophies and medals, and hoping that my collection of hardware will continue to get bigger with every passing competition. training time remaining is limited until the big day and i must do everything i can cause my destiny is in my own hands. it’s time to train hard to give myself the best chance possible. now is the time is for me to shine so leave everything in the ring and have no regrets

day 627 – sun run day

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i proved a handful of people wrong today by making the time they said i couldn’t. could say i made the time i was aiming for, but also fell short of what i was secretly aiming for. i don’t feel prepared, but when it comes to cardio i’ll never be prepared and this is probably as ready as i have ever been. i know exactly where i could have done better if i only tried harder and that only makes me want to better it next time. post run photo before going out to all i can eat for the rest of the day, get that correct i didn’t go all you can eat. it’s reloading and refuelling that i definitely deserve after exerting so much energy this morning

day 450 – atop the podium

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standing on top of the podium amongst that company meant much more than just winning because it felt extra awesome knowing i am starting to round into my form after months and months of continuous struggles with some severe injuries. still far from where i want to be but i will seek ways to do what i can to get to where i want. through this whole process i learned to deal with the unexpected, work with what i had and make the best out of the condition i was given. can’t say it wasn’t a long and difficult road back but hardwork and patience of rehab does pay off. there were also moments of doubts where i thought it was the end but i am glad i didn’t let that happen otherwise i wouldn’t be standing atop the podium. beating some blue pants is a telling tale and a sweet comeback. can’t wait to get mine. it’s good to be back

life options

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life is complicated but when it all boils down, there are really only two options to go about it. those who choose to make excuses for things they cannot achieve will forever have unachievable goals. i have many goals and desires in life, some farther and more ambitious than others. but until i achieve what i want, i will only be making progress and taking little steps towards that goal and nothing can stop me. setbacks are bound to pop up but as long as i believe, it should not stop me from moving forward. those who don’t believe in me aren’t worth keeping around because i simply have no place for downers in my life