day 1366 – lingering effects

slowly getting back to normally but there’s lingering effects both physically and mentally. somehow i am still hesitant and scared to eat regular food, or maybe i’m just worried i’ll get fat again. i’m hollow and empty inside, but i persuade myself i can wait it out. it’s one of those things i’d rather endure than being hurt and be scarred time after time. it affects me more than i’d ever want to talk about it

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day 987 – dozing

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the fever that i thought went away seems to come and go, and come back again. took some extra strength drowsy pills that put me right out and gave me a good night’s sleep, but i woke up feeling like i am taking on a cold as well. i don’t know how to get rid of this lingering illness. all my parents ever tell me is to see a doctor, but they never seem to understand that from the second a step in the clinic to actually seeing the medical doctor is a complete waste of my time. all i ever get from doctors is useless information i could have told myself