day 1530 – one for mom

celebrated mom’s birthday before parents head to the airport for yet another trip to hong kong. in front of them, i act like there’s no pain and everything is okay even though deep down it’s a completely different story. upon seeing them off, i closed the front door and tears immediately began to roll down my eyes. i couldn’t stop the down pour; the only way to dull my heart break way was to lay in bed. it hurts in every way and hard to accept that my life has changed drastically. i’m tired from all this i don’t know how i will handle this change to being practically disabled

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day 779 – when and where

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when is it my turn to take a real vacation to get away from this hectic life?? i have taken time off, i have flown and driven and gone across canada, but none of which was purely for vacation because i held competition obligations. i am drained, overworked and am in dire need of a vacation where i can just relax and get away from stresses of life no matter how big or small. there’s too many places, cities and countries on my wishlist; when and where will i be able to fulfill them??

day 554 – how i feel now

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the sign indicates my current situation. that’s how me and my body feels right now when all i can do is stay home in bed while constantly feeding it drug after drug. but all i really want to do is get out and train, go to the gym, hangout with people, do my regular activities. i really can’t stop feeling the gym withdrawal. it’s never a good sign when i get sent home within the first hour

day 478 – dawn darkness

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waking up at 6am in this season is depressing, only see the darkest skies and nothing else. it’s november and can’t help but wonder when the sunny days will come back to us. the whole city looks different at this hour, deserted and lifeless. this is way too early for me to be awake let alone be ready to get out of my house, it will be a long day ahead. but i am just glad it is finally friday