reflecting reality

highschool really did feel like just yesterday. just like majority of highschoolers, i graduated and went onto university thinking i had it planned for the rest of my life. truth is, that thought couldn’t have been any more incorrect and far from reality. i went on to graduate just like how my parents had mapped it out, with an honours degree in environmental design. after a bachelor, i was suppose to do my masters of architecture and become a fully licensed architect. that never happened because acceptance rate was one in ten. i took a brief break but have been working since then. my point is, life is far from how i had imagined it straight out of highschool. i’ve chosen a less traveled career path unlike the stereotypical asian jobs. i’ve believed that my friends circle will remain unchanged. i’ve been misled that i’d meet someone who would treat me like a destination. i’ve learned that growing up requires unlearning the learned. it’s been a struggle as i continue to walk down this path establishing myself as a professional and finding where i truly belong. the start of the year has been really good to me; working my butt off has earned me respect within my peers. i’ve climbed the work ladder real quick liked my manager forewarned, and as a result have been delegated a lot more responsibilities. nothing was given to me; i had to step up and grasp all the windows of opportunities. because of the obstacles and challenges i overcame, i have become the strong woman i am today. i’m not where i want to be yet, but with my grit drive and determination, i’m have full confidence i will make my dreams a reality. i’m on a mission to finding myself and finding my strong. this is where it all starts and where everything will come together for me 


day 1630 – keepsake gems 

highschool best buddy sent over a surprise with pictures she found while cleaning up her house. i laughed when i saw my artona grad pictures. was highschool really that long ago and have i aged since then? what have i accomplished since and was it what i imagined life would be like? no. i graduated highschool expecting i’d have taken my architecture masters, that i’d be working in my dream job making big bucks, that i’d be living in a mansion i designed, that i’d meet someone who treats me as a destination. most of that is just a fantasy, but what’s real is i’m proud of where i am now and the adversity i had to face to get here

day 1624 – matters matter

managing people requires understanding behavior and tapping into a person’s mind. in other words, it requires the science of psychology. and that’s exactly what i’m dealing with at work. i have new found respect for my manager as i finally felt what he goes through on a daily basis. after dealing with some, i sat down with him and he helped me put everything back into perspective. truth is stepping into a managing role means i can no longer shy away from dealing with people friction. i may not be used to it yet, but it’s a privilege to be growing professionally. finishing up eleven hours at the office before another two at taekwondo is going above and beyond; but always want more than i can physically give

shaping 2018

2017 was challenging that staggered between many emotions, some happy, some successful, some difficult, some burdensome and some heartbreaking moments. i was struck by my most depressing moments that resulted in bottling up emotions where self destruction happened. underneath the outer shell, was three hundred and sixty five days of constant battle that left many unseen scars. after this three hundred sixty five day battle, i came to realize i had ample growth: grew stronger, became braver, gained experience and expanded my knowledge. the struggles gave me a different perspective in life, the achievements gave me hope to to continue to climb. life is a journey defined by how well one copes after being knocked down. looking forward into the next twelve months, i’ll regroup and pull myself together to find my strong. i’m a fighter and won’t stop short of reaching my goal. as long as i stay strong, keep grinding and never settle for less than my full potential. life is about betterment and i’m committed to being the strongest version of myself

the latter part of 2017 wasn’t the best of days and was a true test of patience. the long drought, the fluctuating health, the seesawing emotions were all big obstacles, but i made sure all loose ends were closed. waving 2017 goodbye knowing 2018 has much more for me in store

  • get back healthy and stay as injury-free as possible
  • consistent training and eating with proper sleep
  • step up my game and take it to the next level
  • setting my priorities and boundaries
  • love myself for who i am, love my family, love my friends
  • stay focused towards advancement
  • attain more designations
  • save up for the numbers game
  • explore and travel the world
  • devote more time on what sets my heart on fire
  • step out of my comfort zone and expand my horizon
  • acknowledge being a workaholic but appreciate the little things

i’m ready to start 2018 off strong and be the stubborn goal digger that i am. just remember the best has yet to come

day 1560 – scaled 

on my desk sits a scaled model that my dear coworkers said made them think of me. got a good laugh when coworker gave my model an upgraded splint, one that is tailored to document my hand healing progress. little things and acts of surprises like this makes my day go by smoother. there’ll be some that stick by to help during times of hardship; there’ll be those that won’t. that’s when i learn what kind of person they are what who truly cares

day 1513 – bad hand 

looking back i would say it was a good day, but a costly one. i caught everything that came my way, all except one; the very ball that killed my hand and changed a lot. more than five weeks after, it still affects me greatly and continues to sideline me. i’ve been seeking for someone can help fix it and put it on its recovery road. when will i be able to open a jar of peanut butter pain free

day 1389 – lightly

with the way my life has been lately, today brought a slight smile that i haven’t seen or felt in weeks. got the nod from the chiro as long as i promise to keep it light and away from his nono list. went through all my big lifts but at most seventy percent of what i usually do. everything within my execution felt fine except for the bench. still no olympic lifts, plyos, overheards, nor ballistic movement, but just being back brought a smile to my face