day 1650 – scaled 

on my desk sits a scaled model that my dear coworkers said made them think of me. got a good laugh when coworker gave my model an upgraded splint, one that is tailored to document my hand healing progress. little things and acts of surprises like this makes my day go by smoother. there’ll be some that stick by to help during times of hardship; there’ll be those that won’t. that’s when i learn what kind of person they are what who truly cares

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day 1603 – bad hand 

looking back i would say it was a good day, but a costly one. i caught everything that came my way, all except one; the very ball that killed my hand and changed a lot. more than five weeks after, it still affects me greatly and continues to sideline me. i’ve been seeking for someone can help fix it and put it on its recovery road. when will i be able to open a jar of peanut butter pain free

day 1479 – lightly


with the way my life has been lately, today brought a slight smile that i haven’t seen or felt in weeks. got the nod from the chiro as long as i promise to keep it light and away from his nono list. went through all my big lifts but at most seventy percent of what i usually do. everything within my execution felt fine except for the bench. still no olympic lifts, plyos, overheards, nor ballistic movement, but just being back brought a smile to my face

day 1339 – lift myself

this week has been real rough fighting so much distractions. made it to the end of the work week and lucky to be still in one piece. the take back for this week is how to be one of the pillar for my family when called upon. many things have been limited if not put on hold; i haven’t been to the gym as often as i usually do. many things have backtracked and dropped much strength but good to know i still can pick up myself, literally

fulfilment

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heaving a ten tonne rock off my shoulders is an appropriate representation as i haven’t felt so relieved in far too long. it may not mean anything to others, but to me, no words can describe how much receiving that call means to me. for the past year, i struggled to find myself, to accept myself and to be myself. i would hate myself for never being good enough at everything and for anything, often had internal war within. i went though down times that caused eating problems which consequently wrecked my body in too many ways. i bottled up all my problems and feelings, and avoided sensitive topics at all costs. it got to the point where i lost interest in a lot of things and wanted to confine myself in my own space so i didn’t have to talk. at last i opened up to a selected few; i need not to mention any names as you know who you are. i’m thankful that while i was going through my wildest and worst times, you came to the rescue and stood by me. thank you for being patient with me when i was going through some of the roughest times. for piecing me together and keeping me together when i was self destructing. for not rushing me to become something i wasn’t ready to become. for supporting me to find what i truly wanted. for accepting me with open arms and caressing me when i needed you most. it’s you that kept me afloat and a good reason why i’m still alive and striving to this day. through this process i’ve learned an abundance of things –  it’s okay to have weak moments but i’ve learned to be strong. many times i thought i had turned the corner, only to stumbled back in. today i can safely and assertively say i have found my way out of this gigantic hole, and i will only move forward in the direction i’ve always wanted to go but didn’t dare to go. i have a very good reason to smile as i’m leaving everything behind and starting my new episode fresh. i have found myself and i’ll be chasing whatever fulfills my heart

林奕匡 – 一雙手

a song that’s been looping endlessly especially when i’m at loss of words. sometimes i think i have found what i’m looking for, i have what i want, and then those thoughts vanish. these thoughts leave me hanging and instills a lot of self doubt. lately i’m feeling a little upset at myself and i’m trying hard not to let that to spill over to others. this song resonates for me; it gives me a boost and a reason to continue even when i’m uncertain

day 1189 – benching

 

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you know i’m happy when none of the equipment in this facility is off limits for me anymore. best of all, i’m doing the things i know i’m capable – lifting, dropping, pushing, pulling and throwing objects without feeling any abnormal pain. i’ve missed this feeling for the past two months; it’s time to get it all back now. the wait and road to recovery was definitely a hard lesson learned. it’s a good start to the month of november