day 1422 – accompaniment 

my precious sticking by my side morning and night. she’s there for hugs when i need it most and absorbs any burden i carry day in and day out; something i need more than ever before. accompanying me so to know that i’m not going through this phase alone. i get disappointed wondering where each person’s priorities are at. i’d go home frustrated and speechless, but at least i know i’m somebody’s top priority and i know that i’ll always have her even when everything ends. i’m beginning to feel i’m ready to pull the trigger and let go

day 852 – student appreciation

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students showing me some love bringing me an early christmas gift. these are constant reminders of why i continue to teach and coach even when i am outright exhausted. seeing my students work hard, improve and achieve is the greatest reward an instructor can have. i do take pride in seeing all that happen before my eyes. there will be times when i will rant about teaching, but sometimes i feel like i am too attached to let go of it

day 849 – big decisions

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i think i made one of the biggest decision since my existence but i also think it’s a necessary one. i’ve been in limbo for quite some time but i kept quiet and tried to hide everything inside. today, i took a huge leap of faith and let go of something i really should have let go long ago, but was afraid to do so. i sat at starbucks to recollect myself because i wasn’t sure if i was aware what just happened. now it’s time to collect my thoughts and think about the steps i need to take moving forward. this was an all important decision and i believe it’s the right one because without it, i would continue to be a robot assuming my regular routine. this really forces me to focus on what i really needed to do – think about what’s best for me

day 709 – bowl of cherries

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life is like a bowl of cherries. that’s how i wish my life was right now, except it’s completely opposite. constant struggles and endless thinking but still no answer as to what i need to do to get past the road block. even when i am tired, i cannot fall asleep at night because my brain is still spinning in circles. been juggling a lot and going through some rough patches, i find myself wanting to think of a solution but when i can’t i just want to escape reality

resolution series: [twentysix] no control

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in the teens, very rarely if ever, have we had to worry about what happens beyond the current year. but once the twenties hits, everything starts to change and our minds start spinning faster than ever. so many questions begin to pop up, yet we seem to have no answer or solution to any of them. at this point in life there are so many uncertainties as to what one’s future holds. even though there may be ideas of where our interest lies and what our strengths and weaknesses are, but still tons of undetermined factors that has everything to do with our career paths and relationship statuses. being a person that loves to plan for schedules and have structured timelines, i strive to have concrete ideas and solid plans of what i will be doing and where i will be headed. i dislike ambiguity so i need to do my share of planning, so everything seems clearer than clear. to be honest, it really bugs me not knowing what the my future holds but there seems to be very little i can do about it at this point in time. sometimes i feel like i am a control freak on my own life, and i am slowly but surely learning to ease off and enjoy the moment at hand. i will just have to take it one step at a time and and wait for each step and each stage of life to unfold in front of me

day 195 – down time in downtown

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taking some time off to refresh and wrap up all the grudge and negativity i hold as it is time to move on from the recent understanding or lack there of. wandering around and revisiting an area that i once spent countless hours during my studio. after briefly going down memory lane, a stop at the warehouse was in order

day 107 – in search of the exit to my tunnel

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someone said this is the happiest place on earth. take me there so i can escape all the sorrow, stress, anger and depressing reality i am stuck in now. living life the wrong way. there will be better days ahead, just one of those times when i must dig deep to find that exit out of this long and dark tunnel