mental game

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bad habits always gets me. every time i feel like i am in exhaustion, i will stop short of completion and make myself believe enough is enough. i have just come to accept the fact that my mental game is not as strong as it needs to be, and that there’s nothing i can do to improve that aspect. this shortcoming is probably an explanation as to why my game has remained stagnant over the years, where i stop short and fail to take my game to the next level. and this only becomes a cyclical process where when i don’t perform well, i tend to hang my head but not focus on finding the underlying problems and dealing with it head on. just today i was reminded that my body is stronger than i think and when fatigue sets in, the mind is usually the first to give in. so when training in and out of the gym, or anywhere for that matter, it is as much training for my mentality as it is for my physicality. it is good that i get to work alongside some of the most motivational individuals because reality is i need constant reminder that i must stop at nothing until i push out the last rep of the last set. the kind of people that are never satisfied and always challenging me to be better and only then will i come to the realization that i can do things i thought i never could. these individuals keep me honest and lets me know that i ain’t going anywhere until i complete it cause anything below my maximum capability is unacceptable.  i think my recent knee ligament that made me forgo my november competition really caused the damage – in a good way. there’s been a recent spark in me that i want it more than ever before; that i am willing to work hard for what i want to achieve and i am going to tackle my weaknesses head on. i no longer want my game to remain the same. i have some ambitious goals to reach and it certainly wouldn’t reach itself. i am ready to take that next step in further enhancing my game, and i am determined to do whatever it takes. the power is in me and it is up to me to train it to work to live up to my fullest potential. i do believe it is in me

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day 784 – regular correction

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going for regular maintenance to fix whatever needs to be fixed. there’s definitely progress and improvement in upholding itself for a longer stretch. recent experiments to stretch out the length between appointments and it’s mostly provided positive feedback, but there’s still shortcomings to maintain it completely. felt so weak today for some odd reason, struggled the whole way through and didn’t make it to the finish line for some. today the weights i normally do just wasn’t going to happen. must work harder, can’t let it slide anymore

resolution series: [twentythree] progress

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no one is perfect, but everyone is working towards being the best they can be. twelve years ago, when i first stepped foot in my physiotherapist’s clinic, i had no idea it would be such a long journey full of changes and learning curves. from a girl who couldn’t do a single exercise given to me no matter how basic. from a girl who wouldn’t put any effort into trying to do the exercises no matter what was assigned. to a girl who can now do all that plus weights and equipment thrown at me for different variations and increased difficulty. at that time, i bet my kinesiologists were very frustrated with me and wondered what was wrong with this girl because i didn’t put any effort in trying to complete any exercises they asked of me. through the years, they have opened my eyes to a whole new world, making me understand why i had to do what i was told. slowly i began to listen and understand how my body works and what i need to do for it. taekwondo didn’t start off easy for me, i went through some rough patches and stretches were i wasn’t feeling it. i wasn’t trying hard, i let things slip under the rug but gladly someone pulled me aside to let me know that half-assing wasn’t acceptable. he woke me up by telling me i shouldn’t settle for anything less for my best and never play down to my classmates’ level. if it weren’t for that lecture, i was probably ready to call it quits and would never have made it this far. i can safely say that there are many things that didn’t start off well but turned out well because someone out there decided to take it upon themselves to make me understand the importance of putting in the work and effort. ever since then, i have taken big strides in the right direction and to make the necessary progress

resolution series: [twentytwo] mentor

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the people i have been surrounded by have played a tremendous role in shaping me for who i am. they provided me with much guidance, endless advice and mentorship that influenced my growth as a human being. i have had many people guiding and pushing me every step of the way, either dragging me back on track whenever i stray away or making sure i don’t slack off when i shouldn’t be. i know for a fact, without the team behind the scenes attending to me when i fall apart, i probably wouldn’t be walking today. they have constantly given me motivations to train harder and train smarter to get better and get stronger. it is through them i learned that i must put in the work and work for what i want in order to continue playing the sports of my life. the coaches and teammates i’ve had the privilege of playing with and learning from also played a significant role. they have taught me the true meaning of teamwork, that we ought to work hard for each other. lots of credit goes to the instructors that inspired me and showed me to way to higher ground. i have come a long way from the beginning of my taekwondo journey, but i won’t stop knowing there’s still a long way to go to get to a level i never imagined i could be at. i am hoping one day i would be looked up upon, to be mentoring and inspiring others to become what they could never have imagined

 

resolution series: [ten] fitspo

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for kids, bumps and bruises, sprains and breaks heal quickly. but once the teens passes you by, you realize these problems persist longer than what you are used to. you can no longer be as carefree when attempting something because that innocence starts to leave your mind and childhood is inevitably leaving your body. that’s for normal people, but it’s an entirely different story for me. i started getting injured at a very early age and because sports is my passion, it makes it my weakness. my personality and lack of patience doesn’t allow me to rest long enough before going back out and playing again. without letting it heal properly like it should, i push it far too hard much too soon. i have been fortunate i have had an awesome physio overlooking me for over the past dozen years cause without him, i either will not be walking today, or wouldn’t be involved in any of the sports. because of the team that supports me in the back end, i can continue to do the things i love. when i was younger, i never fully understood why they were forcing me to do all these training and boring rehab exercises, but i slowly come to realize what they put me through is only for my own good. ever since then, i told myself i would make that change by listening to them and letting them push me as hard as they see fit. it gives me the satisfication to look back at when i first started and notice how much better and stronger i have gotten over the years and the work and effort i pitched in are finally starting to pay off. the deal is simple, i do my maintenance work and take care of my body the right way, then i get to go out and do my thing. i need to continually get stronger in order to get better at what i do and be the best that i can be. taking care of my body is definitely top priority in the long run. and when i stray away from that, my wallpaper and backgrounds act as a reminder to always shut up and train

all in a days work

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this reminds me of my physio crew that serves me so well. they have tried to hammer that the feelings of soreness, tired, fatigue, exhaustion are all part of the package because it means the training is working. for all the years they have known me, they must have heard every possible reason or excuse from me by now and no longer adhere to what i say or how i feel. as far as they are concerned, they will push me as hard and as far as they see fit, and give me no breathing room to escape. my reasons have little or no effect on them, they just listen and look at me but do nothing to acknowledge. even when i plead i can’t, their response is only “i don’t care, you have or do it”. so i know whenever something asked of me seems insurmountable, my mind is constantly finding ways to cut myself some slack. but no matter what i say or plead, the demand doesn’t change but all these can’t thoughts comes out so naturally. but i am grateful for their uncompromising and unsympathetic attitude, because they see that i am capable of such and that’s the only way i will get better. it is the main reason i have made big strides in the right direction – towards a healthier me

day 419 – my rationale

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life is all about getting over challenges to be able to enjoy the things i consider fulfilling and meaningful. everyone has different values in life and many have disagreed with my decisions but have supported me in ways possible. no stranger to pain and injuries but today is one of those days where i feel absolutely grateful at my appointment. for the first time in a long time, i actually feel like i have my legs under me and all the beating i have taken is paying off. a big shout out to my physio and kinesiologists who have kept me in my sports throughout the years. couldn’t have done it without any one of you