day 1721 – crap load

feeling pretty bad at work and also making bad decisions with food. my headache worsened, throat is dry and scratchy, knee is compensating for the hip, and on top of that i’m on some drugs and steroid drops. there’s a lot of work to be done at the office i can’t afford to miss any time. it’s my month to lead the design meetings and i’m currently heavily relied on so i feel obligated to hold down the fort. i toughed it out until the end but i’m going to crawl into bed before nine thirty and hope i wake up tomorrow morning good enough to work

due time

from the beginning of the calendar year, i have taken stride after strides in terms of personal growth. as per usual, i set some goals for myself, some more bold than normal. what stands out is how my work performance has changed and how much my role in the company has evolved. i’m grateful to be one of the five that my manager has identified to take on the emerging leaders coaching program. my manager has offloaded a lot of things onto my plate; it’s stressful but i’m proving i can handle all that. each time i prove myself capable, i gain more trust. i welcome all the new and bigger responsibilities because that’s the direction i want to move towards. while majority has been moving in the positive, there are some that’s lagging behind. some things aren’t coming by as easily as i had drawn out, and that’s consumed a bit of frustration over the last little while. i haven’t been seeing the results i thought i would have, but i am to be blamed for i haven’t put enough effort into that aspect. i do feel my discipline has slipped so i’ll need to tighten up in that regard. i’ve done some self evaluation and i’m going to keep going because i’m a believer that it’s only a matter of time before i start achieving. i may appear to have it all down pat in other’s eyes, but to me, i set the bar high for myself and i’m far from where i want to be. being my harshest critic is who i usually am and that only means i have nowhere to go but up

day 1681 Рsmart measures 

i’m the type who always has goals and ambitions, but require a clear picture with deliberate plan of attack of how i will achieve it. formally sitting down to reorganize and solidify that the direction i’m headed is indeed the direction i want to go. it’s vital to have well thought out smart goals; quantifiable and measurable results is what i’ve always known. at the end of the day, being able to check off something because i worked hard to attain it is irreplaceable