day 2016 – spotted progress

a really happy moment tonight when i went for it and did a some spotted roundoff backtuck from the floor to blue. since my roundoff snap down was feeling pretty strong during overtime practice, i asked to go for it. i then went on to do one last one, unspotted. i didn’t land it, but i was told it was the biggest step because i just diminished a lot of the fear and uncertainty that it came with. i’ll be the first to say it was scary, but unlike all the previous times i tried something for the first time, i didn’t allow myself to overthink and just went hard. just good to see another progression towards what i’ve always wanted

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hustling 2019

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2018 was demanding for it was intertwined with many accomplishments and disappointments that brought forth many mixed emotions. i can’t deny i had stretched myself too thin more times than i’d like, and the year had flown by before i knew it. i was overloaded at work where i experienced many influxes of workload; but through that, i had earned my stripes and established myself as a lead. outside of work, my play was also action-packed. i took a step back from taekwondo, but have the intention to step back in once my tricks and flips are ready. i wouldn’t say i had a particularly healthy year; not having escaped the injuries – this time being my shoulder. i lost sight of my fitness at times, but still kept it within reason. with all the successes and setbacks of the past twelve months, i had a lot of take backs knowing i had grown and proved that i could handle myself in uncomfortable situations. looking ahead, 2019 will be a year of hustle where i’ll be chasing some pretty ambitious goals i had set for myself. again, i expect myself to continue grinding and hustling for everything i’ve always wanted. i’m committed to investing the next three hundred and sixty five days to become the best version of myself

i experienced the best and worst of days in 2018, but nothing i couldn’t overcome. the darkest moments stung and the brightest moments shone, but above all, i managed to stay afloat. as 2018 departs, i’m looking ahead and expecting a lot out of myself in 2019

  • get healthy and stay injury-free #gethealthystayhealthy
  • consistent training #leanmachine
  • proper eating #eatsmart
  • love myself for who i am #selfcare
  • love my family #familymatters
  • reconnect with friends #circleoffriends
  • savings and assets #budgetlife
  • explore and travel the world #roamtheplanet
  • more me time for what sets my heart on fire #metimemovement
  • career advancement #careerdevelopment
  • step back onto the mat #roadtonationals
  • setting my priorities #prioritiesincheck
  • learn or take up new skills and knowledge #foreverlearning

i’m ready to make some gains and get the best out of what 2019 has in store. it’ll be one heck of a ride as i’m on a mission to find my strong

day 1790 – miss fits

i come to realize i generally don’t do what normal people do and do what normal people wouldn’t do. i’ve never been a follower of the norm just because; i do what i want and i follow the path that my passion leads. it has taught me it’s okay to stand out and be different. there’s a lot that i want that a normal girl doesn’t have ambitions for and doesn’t strive for. there are things any regular human being may never care about, but all i’m doing is going after things i want to achieve and believe will make myself fulfilled. i want to be able to have amiable fitness, to be play an abundance of sports, to flip and do gravity defying things and to make everyone around me happy

building 2017

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2016 was one heck of a crazy roller coaster ride. the past twelve months gave me ample opportunities to experience more of what life is about. i found myself in the darkest moments where i shut myself off from the world, fluctations and eating problems ensued. i managed to dig deep with the support of my close ones, and got myself back together. nothing came easy as nothing worth achieving ever comes easy. behind closed doors, i fought many battles that no one knew about, but the most important thing is i never gave up on myself. i came to realization that i don’t want to remain stagnant and don’t want to remain the same so i took on some challenges. i defined what my goals were and was proactive in taking the necessary steps to get myself there. through the hard times i gained a lot of knowledge and strength that no doubt made a better me. it made me realize i’m much stronger than i think i am and need to get even stronger to withstand. i’m much closer to where i want to be but i’m not where i want to be yet. i’m still working on becoming the best version of myself

finished 2016 on a high note and looking to build a strong 2017 with bigger and more ambitious goals. it’s time to take it up a notch or even two and fulfill whatever my heart desires

  • stay as healthy and as injury-free as possible
  • train smarter and eat properly with sufficient sleep
  • be more disciplined and focused towards my goals
  • continue to work on my confidence level
  • love myself for who i am
  • communicate more with family and friends
  • explore the world and expand my horizon
  • attain supplementary diploma
  • appreciate being a workaholic, but also appreciate the little things
  • save up for the number game
  • revisit photography
  • do more of what sets my heart on fire

i’m pumped to make the next twelve months the best months i’ve ever had. find my strong. it’s now or never

day 1041 – spartan everyday

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after having done my first ever spartan race on saturday, i feel like i could be a spartan everyday. i happily hit the gym on sunday, underestimating what my body had gone through. i only came to realization as i woke up this morning that my legs were jello. i could make excuses for myself, but mondays are never rest days for me – training must be done and dodgeball must go on. pushed myself really hard through a grueling training session today. my legs were no longer under me come dodgeball time, but i enjoy the feelings of pure exhaustion and these are the kind of things i want to be doing

my many doubts

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i have been troubled and drowning in my own thoughts which has me staying up late and thinking a lot lately. over the years, taekwondo has given me a lot to look forward to and a lot to be proud of, but that’s not to say it hasn’t given all sorts of pressure and stress. one could say competition has given me a sense of belonging, because it’s also where i found out that i too, could succeed. it’s taken my next to zero confidence and upping that to a level of being confident enough to step out on the mats alone and get things done. somehow, i feel competing is not what it used to be for me. i always felt the pressure leading up to each competition, but never have i felt it so intensely that i’ve become super stressed out and almost numb. is it a sign that i’m not doing it as a passion? is there such thing as a “martial arts block” like a “writer’s block”? sometimes i can’t differentiate if i am fulfilling my job to compete just because i’ve been doing so all along. i’m unsure whether it’s expected of me, or if it’s a self chosen decision. what makes this one different than the ones in the past that gives me so much more undue stress? a lot to be honest. first of all, i’m no longer under the coaches i’m used to, but directly under the watchful eyes of the grandmaster. second, my parents play a big factor. they seemingly have no expectations for my competition game because they have doubted me from the first day i took on taekwondo, but somehow still appears to have so much expectation. they never expected me to get anywhere close to blackbelt and even sought every opportunity to pry me away from the sport. the results at nationals really isn’t my focal point nor the reason i go to nationals. it wasn’t in the past, and this year’s isn’t any different. competing at such a high level is definitely a privilege i don’t take lightly. it’s an eye opener that’s all about the experience and through that i’ve gained so much more. i hope the grandmaster and others see it in the same light, but sometimes i am afraid of those who put a lot more weight in results and standings. i hate not living up to expectations and i hate letting people down; maybe i’ve done it way too much in the past. luckily, i am still able to find bright spots of supportive casts to put everything into perspective and make sure i keep going strong. they let me know that as long as i do everything within my powers and give it everything i got, i should have no regrets. so bottom line is – stop self doubting and stop second guessing, just get my shit together, work my ass off and let the rest play itself out

down to business

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checking in a month into the new year. it’s time to set my february goals straight, but before i do that, a quick reflection on january. i didn’t do terribly bad for january goals but i really should have done better. a rough month it was, suffering with uncertainties and going through with tough decisions. it’s safe to say the stresses got the better of me in the latter half of the month but enough of letting my emotions get the best of me. moving right along because what’s passed is past so not going to dwell on it. february is a short month, but doesn’t mean i ease up when it comes to goal setting. in fact, it’s the exact opposite of that cause i have some hefty goals awaiting with lots of gains to be made. this only means it gives me very little room for deviation as i stomp on the gas pedal and run full steam ahead. it’s all about knowing what’s important to me, setting my priorities straight, sticking to the game plan and staying the course. i’m feeling oddly motivated to get my shit together for february and do what needs to be done. it’s about time i learn to clean up my act and learn a little something about accountability. all i am just asking of myself is to give it my all and be the best i can be. for once, be able to live up to expectations and turn some doubters’ head while doing so. i’m going to be one ambitious chick looking to score big this month and nothing can stop me now