day 2268 – sky fallen

it feels like the world just crashed on me. i wish my first instinct was incorrect, but i’m pretty certain i’ve just torn my other retinaculum during the battle. it was a bad judgment on my part – i shouldn’t have tried to sync the cartwheel back tuck and should just went for it on my own. now my everything is in jeopardy and i can’t help by think that my hopes and dreams of competing or even tricking in general could all be over. it hurts thinking not even reconstructive surgery can be a solution and all i can do is keep waiting and hope there’s a chance it will heal itself to a usable state. no one truly understands the physical pain i’m going through at the moment, and definitely don’t understand how much this hinders me in all the things i do and love doing. i just know i’m not ready to say goodbye to any of those things

day 2197 – matching limes

driving was made difficult today when i can’t even do the shoulder check motion. i saw two matching lime green vehicles on the road as i was heading to my chiropractor appointment. it’ll definitely be a rest day after suffering a whiplash. apparently i’m not suppose to workout while experiencing antibiotic side effects. it’ll be a write off and i’ll take the time to catch up and prepare to start my intermittent fasting again

day 2021 – car scrapes

it was cold and snowy morning, but made it into the office with my mom’s rav4. i was surprised management let us off early since i’m at a company that forced me to risk going into the office to work even with a broken hand. i didn’t leave early since i had every intention to go flip. the conditions going home from richmond was not good at all. there up a bus and truck stuck on the off ramp of knight bridge which caused traffic to be backed up i’ll have to make a judgment call for work when i wake up tomorrow morning. winter has official arrived in vancouver

resolution series: [twentyeight] pity

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everyone has their own problems to deal with, some less complex than others. there’s no secret that i have been plagued with endless injuries throughout my life. i have given up on trying to hide that, because i have learned that patchwork only makes it go away on the superficial level. unfortunately that’s just temporary fix and will keep piling on to account for greater problems. i simply cannot live without the sports and activities which i play, for it is the passion of my life. it won’t be forever, but it is my choice to continue playing and practicing them for as long as i can manage. i do intend on doing everything i can within my powers to do my rehab and maintenance work. my main focus is on getting better and stronger every single day; always be a better version of myself. don’t question my will to strive for what i want just because you have it easier. don’t question my passion to always stay hungry and carry on even when nothing goes my way. don’t question how big my heart is when you don’t know how much pain i have endured. don’t question my toughness if you don’t know what i experienced because very few people have a clue how much work, time, energy and commitment i put into making all this possible. standing on my own two feet was never a given to me, but i learn to be grateful for all the times i can. sometimes i sit alone thinking to myself i don’t deserve to be dealing with all these mishaps and i certainly don’t deserve your bashing or judgement. i need not your pity nor your approval for what i have to go through as i result of what i do. i was given this life and these obstacles because i could handle it. i appreciate those who’s helped me out along the way, it’s meant the world to me. if you have nothing good to say, don’t speak

resolution series: [twelve] mindset

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there’s never one solution to a problem or one route to a destination. different people will have different takes on things and often try to influence you in many ways so to make you see things their way, do things their way. it’s good to keep your eyes and ears open, but sometimes you just have to take a stand for what you believe in and stick with what you think you want to achieve. disregard what the majority of population thinks, so what if the rest of the world sees things differently. i learn that through the years you have to take into consideration people’s advice based on their knowledge and past experience, but there comes a time when you have to make a judgement call as to what you think is right and how you want to deal with a situation. there’s no perfect way of doing one thing. know that it is okay to be different because that’s what makes each person unique. find my own perspective, don’t let others decide and speak for me because it is my life to live. in the end no matter if the outcome is good or bad, know that i will be able to accept the outcome. that is precisely how we grow as an individual