day 2268 – sky fallen

it feels like the world just crashed on me. i wish my first instinct was incorrect, but i’m pretty certain i’ve just torn my other retinaculum during the battle. it was a bad judgment on my part – i shouldn’t have tried to sync the cartwheel back tuck and should just went for it on my own. now my everything is in jeopardy and i can’t help by think that my hopes and dreams of competing or even tricking in general could all be over. it hurts thinking not even reconstructive surgery can be a solution and all i can do is keep waiting and hope there’s a chance it will heal itself to a usable state. no one truly understands the physical pain i’m going through at the moment, and definitely don’t understand how much this hinders me in all the things i do and love doing. i just know i’m not ready to say goodbye to any of those things

day 1820 – hard questions


once in a while some questions come up i either don’t know how to answer, shouldn’t answer or don’t want to answer. noticeable that i’ve pulled myself out of involvements in the world of taekwondo. i no longer teach or attend poomsae trainings, took break from competitions, skip demos, and avoided going to main school. all i do is run my branch school and keep making improvements. now when asked if i’ll resume my commitments and return to the competition floor, it’s really hard to say if i still have it in me and i have the heart to make a comeback

day 725 – plans ruined

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guess who’s not going and not capable of going to celebration of lights fireworks tonight. i sprained my ankle this morning but life and teaching must carry on without showing my pain to others. strapped on some tape and onwards with teaching, won’t know how black and blue it will be until it’s unwrapped. this ruins a lot set plans and puts a lot of my upcoming activities in jeopardy

day 378 – couldn’t go any more wrong

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the day far from over and everything thus far went so terribly wrong that i can’t even put into words. rough day when nothing can go right, i only wish there’s a way to lessen the burden. looking forward to tonight when i can use the gym as an outlet. i just want to be far far away from the rest of the world