day 2373 – rutted

i’ve had far too many nose blows the past few months. the amount of times i stay awake being sad and discouraged far exceeds the times i not. i’m so tired of it; the feeling of quitting happens every other day. i’m not okay being neglected, left alone to fail and self destruct while some get the full on instructions. it hurts me that i show up to classes and open gyms ready to learn, ready to land my next move, but i’m clearly not their priority because they’ve got their ‘pokemon’ to train. i don’t deserve this and it hurts me so much inside more than words can explain

day 1904 – pastimes

one of my long term past time is training for poomsae competitions. though it’s over a year since i stepped on the big stage, i still spend a great deal of time coaching competition. there were times when thought i was done with taekwondo, but every time i try to step away i somehow get pulled back in. the debate is do i still have one last one in me. after my mentor and friends departed, i no longer have as much drive as a competitor to shoulder all the responsibilities

day 1839 – gym socks

got on the highway and turned for home when i found out i left my gym socks at home. ended up hitting nash after dinner for a quick session of front squats, one of the few barbell exercises i can currently do. nothing like lifting some iron after many consecutive days of rough days at work. some days i question how sane i am to still be at this office. i really do miss this nash now that i don’t come as often due to work and commitments. but it’s here i find myself most comfortable and the place where i get in the best lifts