day 1510 – hand pain

it’s back to square one. after my making my first catch of the dodgeball night, my hand was in excruciating pain and could no longer grip a ball properly. being me, i thought that if i taped it would allow me to play; if i taped more i could continue; and if i tape enough to make it immobile, i could finish the night. i finished the night, but once the last game was over, i realized i no longer have a functional hand. it does open nor close, it doesn’t hold a fork, nor a steering wheel; it basically doesn’t function for my basic needs

Advertisements

day 1379 – icbc rehab

the bad just got worse and now i’m put on a long chiro rehab program through icbc. the quality of life is just not there at the moment and i really want to give up. there’s no comfortable position between sitting, standing and laying down; basic mobility is compromised to the point where the pain keeps me from sleeping. it’s been a horrid week sleep deprived, not being able to go to gym, not playing sports like normal, not able to be myself. it’s asking for too much from me when i have reduce some of my physical activities and even hold off in some cases. i try not appear in pain but even staying strong has its limits and i’ve reached it. i don’t know if restricting all my sports is easier or death

day 882 – sedentary

image

not quite sure what i did to my calf, but one was hurting so much i could barely walk down the stairs. stayed home all day and barely had any activity, my fitbit probably thought i was dead. at last i couldn’t take it anymore and had to go out to the gym because i felt trapped and uninspired. since i wasn’t very mobile, the decision probably didn’t make sense to many, but it did for me. i felt both my brain and my body were rotting at home and needed the boost – surely it must be signs of gym withdrawal

stay the course

image

it’s been an atrocious week for me. ever since dodgeball playoffs ended last saturday, my world has turned upside down. a visit to emergency room on sunday morning didn’t give me the slightest idea of my finger injury status. i haven’t got a clue what was going on, what my path looks like, or what i should do. my biggest fear is the severity will keep me from training for what quite possibly is my one and only chance. i was really worried because i am already feeling pressed for time because there isn’t an abundant of time remaining and there’s a lot of training and learning needed to be done. this competition is one that i have been really looking forward to, so i would be more than disappointed if i cannot compete. but at the same time, knowing i will not risk entering the competition if i know i am not prepared to give myself the best chance possible. i was beyond stressed out because i couldn’t even tell my loved ones the truth of what happened and what was going on in my head. i was forced to really downplay the whole situation and acted like nothing is wrong when truth is everything was clearly not right. i spent the next four days really battling myself and everything else, and at some point it got so low i felt like i was a wreck. thankfully i am surrounded by people willing and ready to help. i knew i couldn’t continue to let everything get out of hand; i needed to pick myself off the ground and regroup because no matter what tomorrow holds, i needed to fix my finger. an acupuncture treatment was a good start to reduce the swelling and increase the mobility. a date to see my physio really put me at ease cause i trust him more than many, so when he says he’s almost certain there’s no fracture, i believe him. slowly but surely, it’s making progress and it’s looking a lot like my hopes for competition is still alive

day 663 – restoration day

image

yesterday’s physical demands is exactly the reason why getting through today was such a struggle. i wasn’t able to fall asleep last night even though i was thoroughly tired. waking up this morning with a throbbing headache and sore limbs and a splinter still stuck in my sole. my knee is really banged up from the crash and my whole body is sore and immobile to say the least. but all is good knowing i completed my mission yesterday

poomsae uniform debut

image

okay i am not going to lie, i am as tired as i look in that picture all due to plenty of last minute cramming. not to mention dealing with a completely battered body because of cramming in late night practices days before. had a severe groin pull and major pre competition mental crisis even my friend ben couldn’t help out this time no matter how many times i slapped it on myself. luckily the adrenaline carried me through my part of the competition, but my groin was immobile the rest of the way and i needed major help in every way. i was contemplating for the longest time if it was the right time to pull out my new poomsae uniform, simply because i don’t feel ready and worthy of wearing this just yet. given what i had to work with, i am satisfied with my performance and no one can deny that

day 455 – vdl halloween week

image

it is a vdl tradition of halloween dress up week. halloween enthusiasts came dressed up with some cool costumes ideas  for vdl contest to win some unknown prizes. i don’t traditionally dress up and i had totally neglected to brainstorm of any costume ideas. i was high in spirit but low in energy and mobility as i was still mightily sore from previous gym session, someone must have forgotten the importance of protein