day 1906 – front tuck landed

i’m calling this my first official front tuck landed on the floor even though i had one last week that i wasn’t satisfied with. i was hesitant to attempt again; they sensed it but were still adamant on it from the get go. the pressure was strong and everyone had their eyes on me as i warmed myself up on the mats. i was feeling really iffy on the first ones, but eventually stuck a landing. i’m thankful they believed i could and gave me all the support possible. sometimes i need to be pushed; i wouldn’t have done it otherwise if they weren’t forcing it on me

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a-game at us world open

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there was no shortage of pressure at us world open with the presence of the grandmaster, team of students and their parents. little was said, but this competition would also determine my path moving forward and going to nationals next month. i went into this competition feeling undertrained because of all my commitments with the sunrun, dodgeball, playoffs, demos and coaching duties; too much time spent coaching the kids i left no time for myself. it was a mixed bag of feelings from being emotionally unstable to psychologically drained cause i knew what was on the line, physically fine for the most part other than coping with a bad groin that won’t heal and battling a week-long cold. the pressure was far beyond anything i’ve ever experienced since all my school’s competitors had already finished their events, leaving me last to go on stage so everybody hovered behind my ring. i am not a fan of spotlight and this certainly a lot more attention than i am comfortable with. what made it even more nerve wrecking is i was queued second last in my division meaning i had to go through the pain of watching and waiting for my fellow competitors. i was so nervous i didn’t dare watch any of my competitors or their results. i zoned out everyone who tried to talk to me and only focused on what i had to do. i went out there and did what i had to do, walked off the mats straight to my coach without even looking at my score. i was greeted by high fives and a “pretty good” which meant the world to me cause rarely does he compliment me. everybody was quick to tell me i secured at least a silver medal based on the scores of those who went before me. i didn’t believe it, but came to realization as the final results were announced. it wasn’t the medal around my neck that brought joy to me, it was beating my biggest rival from my own school and that proved plenty, more than words can say. most importantly i felt good out there doing what i thought was my best poomsae and best performance yet. the silver lining was i later found out the mexican who topped my score was the bronze medallist at this year’s worlds. thankfully i was told after the fact or i would be too psyched out, as if i didn’t have enough pressure

day 627 – sun run day

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i proved a handful of people wrong today by making the time they said i couldn’t. could say i made the time i was aiming for, but also fell short of what i was secretly aiming for. i don’t feel prepared, but when it comes to cardio i’ll never be prepared and this is probably as ready as i have ever been. i know exactly where i could have done better if i only tried harder and that only makes me want to better it next time. post run photo before going out to all i can eat for the rest of the day, get that correct i didn’t go all you can eat. it’s reloading and refuelling that i definitely deserve after exerting so much energy this morning

day 612 – unchartered territory

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ten is the number that has eluded me all this time, but this morning i went into unchartered territory with all the help i can get. it was a hard run with many many doubts throughout and both my mind and body found infinite reasons to stop, but somehow the ten kilometre grind was completed and i am glad i did it. the struggle was real and it was undeniably a humbling experience. after all that work and seeing i am still in one piece, i indulged in some sushi at the end of the day to celebrate my brother’s birthday. good new is i had done the run to burn off the calories, but the bad news is it all cancelled out and i must do it again