day 2410 – anniversary dimsum

my parents have gone through many anniversaries, but not one is less important than the others. it’s always good to celebrate these events as a family because it wouldn’t exist without any one of us. the celebration was good but beyond that, life is a little grim. not only are both my ankle messed up or sprained, both my knee are banged up from a tumble, both my wrist are in pain and my right shoulder is still recovering

day 2408 – squirtle playoff

i got a scare just before the puck drop because i laced up my skate but realized i couldn’t put weight on my left foot at all. i untied and retied it several times but nothing helped. my last resort was to take off my ankle tape and risk my ankle sprain. luckily it worked because it seems the tape job made the slightest change in my foot gage. this tier is tough, we lost 6-1 and we have one more must win game or our season is over

day 2373 – rutted

i’ve had far too many nose blows the past few months. the amount of times i stay awake being sad and discouraged far exceeds the times i not. i’m so tired of it; the feeling of quitting happens every other day. i’m not okay being neglected, left alone to fail and self destruct while some get the full on instructions. it hurts me that i show up to classes and open gyms ready to learn, ready to land my next move, but i’m clearly not their priority because they’ve got their ‘pokemon’ to train. i don’t deserve this and it hurts me so much inside more than words can explain

day 2331 – no headway

i carried around a heavy heart today because i’m not sure what my tricking future holds. today is technically the last class day of classes and i haven’t made any headway. i couldn’t say anything while i was with the gang, but i broke the moment i got home. for the first time, i spilled what my mind and body has been intending to do. it made me think back on all that’s happened and all that didn’t. it hurts me so much that it may have come to an end. all i could do is cry myself to sleep

day 2307 – finger splint

a splint on my finger is so suffocating and inconvenient. i hate how it’s so restrictive it is and how it prevents the swelling and bruising to dissipate. i get that i need to protect it when i’m out and around people, but whenever i’m by myself, i would try to remove it to let it air out. i know this is only week one, but hopefully i can get rid of this splint sooner than three weeks

day 2284 – inflammable

both my ankles started to swell up hours after my prp treatment, the right one more so than the left. i couldn’t move it up or down and i felt the internal battle and the pain within my bloodstream. the spots were tender from the needle injections and the area was burning hot. needless to say, i had a very rough and restless night because the pain was so much. i’ve never had it so bad that thoughts of amputation crept into my mind. i literally crawled to get tylenol hoping to catch some shut eye

day 2283 – prp treatment

in naturopath clinic to do my first platelet rich plasma treatment. these prp treatments will burn a hole through my wallet, but my foot left me with no other option. it was very neat and very scary at the same time; watching the machine spin and separate my blood into parts and having it put back into me. getting what must have been twenty injections was a painful process. i had both feet done and could barely walk out of the office myself