day 2170 – road less taken

the tears that rolled uncontrollably down my face was a direct reflection of how i felt inside. as much as i wanted to stop myself in front of people, i simply couldn’t stop the tears from coming down. so much stress has built up around work, taekwondo, people and health that my emotional and physical state are torn inside and outside. all my life i feel i’ve been cheated because i never had the privilege of having the health most people enjoy. still, i push through and train through all my injuries, overcoming one after another. this time is no different, but four months is too long to go through without having a proper diagnosis and method of treatment. no doubt i’m feeling frustrated from the hopelessness

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day 2163 – sharing difficulties

a subpar session and horrible stretch has left me frustrated as ever. even the boston pizza spicy thai chicken wrap sitting in front of me didn’t change my appetite or mood. i didn’t expect to have this talk with the flightclub crew, but i realize we’ve become close friends that i’m okay with letting them in on some of my thoughts and feelings, and they also shared theirs. lately, lots of negative thoughts were floating through my head, all of which left me empty. feeling discouraged with the training and progress as of late, i was beginning to accept my fate in my freestyle dream. i opened up and almost cried, but they listened and seemed to understand what i’m going through. maybe they finally realize the strong outer shell i uphold isn’t so strong on the inside

day 2121 – icelandair

didn’t drive to work today because i’m leaving for the airport straight from the office. never taken iceland air before so i had no idea they were so stingy on allowances. so snacks or meals were provided even on a seven hour flight. icelandair also doesn’t include a check in luggage and charges an outrageous amount to have one checked. on top of that, the carry on size is smaller than other airlines. the seats were so cramped i would never recommend icelandair to anyone

day 1915 – hockey is back

it’s good to be back at the rink after missing the past few hockey games due to overlapping schedule. i was afraid i’d be slow coming out of the gate but i held up and even registered an assist. the scoresheet isn’t really an accurate representation of the high scoring game. it was a fun game but man i’m tired from invigilating a blackbelt test that went wrong in far too many ways. being put in the spot to do something i haven’t practiced in three years isn’t exactly cool. good thing i managed to do it and come out unscathed

day 1819 – basement rink

north shore winter club has one of the worst ice surface i’ve ever seen. it clearly never took hockey players into consideration when players have to lug giant hockey bags through sets of doors, up and down flights of stairs and across other change rooms. stomping down the stairs in full gear to get to the rink, only to see ice is actually a large pool of water. i left it all out there playing one of my stronger games to end the jdp regular season. i had a close call early on that looked like it crossed the goal line. had another opportunity on a two on one where i dove to get good wood on it. despite not scoring, i did many good things including passing, puck battles, forechecks, and just being in position

day 1365 – my ride

it wasn’t the best of days at dodgeball; just felt really tired and not up to it. i couldn’t get into it and felt ousted. though driving my own car again made up some of my horrible play. i realized how much i enjoy driving my car because the driving experience was lost i was driving other cars. i happily went for a joy ride until i realized my gas tank was running low