day 2423 – ramen eggs

it’s definitely weird to be staying in on a saturday afternoon instead of being at the dojo teaching. since there’s no teaching, i went to an apex session after much debate and hesitation due to covid-19. i had a really good session snatching up to forty kilos, clean and jerking fifty kilos and squatted a plate. i’m so happy to be out of the confined space and move my rotting body. i went home for lunch and made my first the six-minute egg. it turned out really well and made my noodles tasted extra delicious

day 1906 – front tuck landed

i’m calling this my first official front tuck landed on the floor even though i had one last week that i wasn’t satisfied with. i was hesitant to attempt again; they sensed it but were still adamant on it from the get go. the pressure was strong and everyone had their eyes on me as i warmed myself up on the mats. i was feeling really iffy on the first ones, but eventually stuck a landing. i’m thankful they believed i could and gave me all the support possible. sometimes i need to be pushed; i wouldn’t have done it otherwise if they weren’t forcing it on me

day 1366 – lingering effects

img_20200204_1531562313272003360520510.jpgslowly getting back to normally but there’s lingering effects both physically and mentally. somehow i am still hesitant and scared to eat regular food, or maybe i’m just worried i’ll get fat again. i’m hollow and empty inside, but i persuade myself i can wait it out. it’s one of those things i’d rather endure than being hurt and be scarred time after time. it affects me more than i’d ever want to talk about it