day 1387 – round and round

work and appointment went smoothly, yet it was still a bad day. even the sunshine didn’t change my state of mind. the little things really add up to a lot and i’ve realized more so of why i’m less happy. perhaps my inner self is starting to take exception to the diminishing consideration and respect. it sucks always being discredited and it sucks being secondary. it’s eating me up and i feel like my confidence is reaching an all time low. i lose sleep seeking self acceptance because i struggle to like myself for who i am

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day 1278 – roger surgesĀ 

no regrets staying up until 4:45am just so i can witness federer win another australian open. much of the day was spent being a nerd doing my assignment, reading articles i enjoyed. the promotion test went smoothly and nothing particular went wrong, but somehow i’m feeling strangely bad about myself. the feeling of dissatisfaction of not being good enough and unworthiness is expanding in my head. i’m losing faith in myself and losing grip on what i want to achieve. hopefully that changes when i wake up tomorrow for a fresh start to the week