day 1567 – new salary

received my first pay stub with my new remuneration; means a lot to me to finally have my hardwork reflected in my salary. though that’s the only bright spot of the day as i woke up feeling really shitty about myself. a stomachache made matters worse and i didn’t feel like eating. i regret having dragged myself into the office but had so much work that missing any time wasn’t feasible. just as i thought my evening was getting better, a phone call from sifu changed everything and i all i could do was lay in bed feeling majorly overwhelmed but no one there to receive

Advertisements

day 1547 – sushiuomo

i quite like the new place we found and the temakis that was served. it was a feel good kind of day because i felt encouraged at work when my manager told me he praised me during the management meeting for how well i’ve been developing the new collection and the rhythm the technical team is in. makes me understand that my hard work isn’t transparent and good managers will always be there to let you know that

believe myself

image

i told myself time after time that i wouldn’t spill because i shouldn’t let any negativity ruin my holiday mood, and then things happened again which really put me over the top. people never realize how much crap i take from others. i take them in like a sponge, but it never dissipates. i just bury my emotions deep inside so no one can see; hidden so well others forget i have feelings, so well sometimes i forget too. i brush it off like it doesn’t hurt but it does. i just wished people were a little more sensitive with their comments and actions.  my silence just means i chose to hold my thoughts in, but the feeling of disconnect and exclusion still exists. it hurts assumptions were made without understanding how hard i worked. those who haven’t seen me at my worst have no idea what i’ve gone through and what it was like to get here. don’t look down upon me and make presumptions that i’m not good enough. i’ve worked far too hard for anyone to tell me otherwise. i learned that even when i’m belittled, i’ll still believe in myself because i’ve proven i can stand alone. sometimes a little consideration goes a long way because never underestimate the power of the little things that make a big difference

 

day 1240 – amrapping

image

my movements are still limited so i had to deviate from my regular thursday lifts. a simple workout that didn’t require a lot of equipment but required a lot of fighting with inner self. it was a heart pounding one that had me drenched within a minute. there were so many times i could’ve stopped and gave up but didn’t. i missed this feeling of exhaustion and really needed it, but my body tells me otherwise. i will wake up tomorrow in pain and my legs will hate me every step of the way, but i’m proud i pushed through. just a testament that i’m physically stronger than i think and that i need to work harder mentally. i feel like i needed this so i deserve to eat tonight

day 1204 – missing usb

image

i woke up this morning expecting to work on my term project, but instead i spent the entire day looking for my usb drive. i was super upset that i lost my usb because it holds the only copy of the project i’ve been working on all term and i haven’t yet saved it onto my computer. what’s more devastating is i made immense progress yesterday and my model looked well on its way only to have it all vanish. i’m stupid for misplacing the drive. i will start the project from scratch tomorrow and hope to make this one even better. to whoever stole my usb, i hope you get caught plagiarizing

day 1108 – the feels

image
had one tough workout session but feeling darn good about everything i accomplished, even though i may or may not have my legs tomorrow. it had everything from working on squats, to trying something new, to improving my snatches. the ecstatic feeling that i once again matched my personal record box jump height, with more certainty than before. spending quality time and finishing off the friday night chilling with mo, doing whatever it may be makes my day complete

day 1005 – korean belt

image

received my all korean mooto belt that i have been eyeing as my birthday present. the only condition is i have to keep up with the training up to and including nationals. i admit i have more belts than i need, but they’re all different and special in their own ways. this one will be highly prized and maintained mainly for competition purposes. it’s one of those things that needs to be kept in pristine condition and only worn at special events. i wonder how many i have left in me