day 1386 – on strike

taking things a little personal and realizing i need to do something about it. it bothers me enough to tear up a little. it’s one of those things when i don’t feel deserving and i’m stubborn enough to do it. i prefer not eating and i will feel that way until i can hit the gym again. i’ll get hangry at times, but eating is secondary to being good enough in my own terms – not to mention it conserves time and money. it’s a little easier to get around it when parents are out of town

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day 1381 – waking up

i am getting more irritated and more concerned waking up every morning feeling like a train hit me. i can’t move my neck to look down at the ground and cringe every time i need go bend over. these restrictions isn’t working for me and it’s only a matter of time before i explode. there’s so much i hate about my life at this point because it doesn’t allow me to move or play at will and i’m simply dying from gym withdrawal

rise and shine

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vacation is officially over. that means it’s time to get back on track and grind again. during the twelve day span that i was overseas, i felt so confined and struggled mightily with gym withdrawal. the days felt so unfulfilling without any real physical exertion. i would hate to live like this on a normal basis. i was dying inside but my parents didn’t understand why i was making a big fuss out of it because they simply didn’t understand what gym and sports meant to me. i, on the other hand, have no intention of explaining it to them. some days they would make random comments relating to my built in hopes to convince me to lessen my exertion. luckily venting to mo has eased much of my frustration; i know he’s well aware of where i’m coming from. back home, training and being active is a major part of my life. i’ve been consistently training and making progress on many levels and i felt good about them. but a dozen days without gym access has set me back really far and now i’m uncertain what i’m capable of. i am actually afraid to find out. i would feel so useless if i find out i’m back at square one. i don’t want to lose what i have worked hard for. i told myself that once this vacation is over, everything will go back to normal – no, it’s going to be even better. i told myself i would rep out all my sets; i wouldn’t be lazy, complain or make excuses. somehow, i need to keep myself accountable and get myself back on track if i stray. i am back in town today, which means i’ll be hitting the gym doing what i need to be doing. the destination is pretty clear, my mind just needs to work with me. it’ll be a long road back, but i must refocus and work harder to negate that deficit. june is a month of many changes and challenges; one that i am going to make things happen. it will be worth it in the end

solo series [day ten]

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since weather forecast said both osaka and kyoto are affected by rain, we decided it’s not worth the trip out to kyoto and will postpone it for next day. that was my que to sleep in and make up for the lack of sleep. we spent our morning in shinsaibashi, a 600 metre covered street mall, and shopped until lunch time. we were fortunate it didn’t start raining until 5pm and that’s when we made our way back to b&b

for the second straight day, i elected to not go out for dinner. this gives me some personal time and a chance to do a circuit. that’s no replacement for gym sessions, but i will have to make do with it until i get back. all that pigging out and no training is not boding well. i’m worried the time away from gym has set me back many steps

i clearly didn’t learn enough from watching anime. menus with only japanese characters are pretty meaningless to me which makes ordering impossible. the only way for me to remember the names is to translate them into chinese; they all sound so absurd i end up making fun of them

i have yet to have a video chat with mo while i am in japan; it’s very difficult based on time difference. we still exchange messages very frequently. i know that he’s taken this time to reconnect with his close friends

solo series [day two]

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after a thirteen hour flight, i have safely landed at hong kong airport. during the long flight, i napped, ate, wrote and watched movies; i only got up twice to use the washroom. my back and legs are extremely stiff and i seriously couldn’t help but to miss the gym already

my parents flew in earlier last week. however, i was a surprise visitor; no one knew i was going to make an appearance. when i rang my grandma’s doorbell, she was so stunned she was at a loss of words. she reminds me i haven’t been back to visit since 2013? i am always amazed at her memory; hard to imagine a ninety year old has a better memory than me. thankfully it’s not as hot as i expected it to be for this time of the year, but i heard it was pretty hot and humid a few days ago

of course gym is not the only thing i miss back in vancouver. i already miss mo dearly. i always glance at my watch wondering how he’s doing and what he is up to. i hope he’s working hard back home and catching up with people he hasn’t seen for a while

although i slept on the plane, going through so many flights and the troubles of getting on and off them has been taxing. i really wanted to wait until mo was awake before i head to bed but my head and eyes were hurting. it was time to call it a day

solo series [day one]

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i am excited to be heading home to hong kong to see my relatives and visiting japan for the first time. it’s a long overdue trip as it’s been three years since i last visited hong kong and my extended family. my parents decided to keep my appearance a top secret. i’m curious to see how my relatives react upon my arrival. now that nationals is over, i will definitely cut back on competition training and turn my attention to other trainings. but before i dive back into training, i need some time off because it’s been a while since i last had a real vacation. i’ll also take this opportunity to recuperate from the recent stresses of life. only then will i come back recharged and ready to make some tough decisions and big changes

for the next twelve days that mo and i will be apart on different continents, i will writing my “solo series” to keep everyone back home in the loop with what’s happening in and around my life. stay tuned and be ready for my journal of adventures

day 988 – doctor blows

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going in to see a medical doctor to satisfy my parents’ even though i knew it was going to be a total waste of time, and i couldn’t be more right. started off the week with a 39 high fever, dropped down a degree or two, but suddenly shot back up to 39 and now i even have cold-like symptoms. the doctor told me i don’t have strep throat, something i could have concluded myself. if i wasn’t semi dying, i wouldn’t even think twice about going in at all. what a way to spend my special one monther