day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1520 –  squat hard 

i was definitely frustrated waking up because i stayed up working on payroll and i woke up with another email of explanations. work in the afternoon dragged on and i longed to get out. i didn’t feel particularly good during my workout today and felt weaker than other days. schedule just haven’t had time to hit up the gym. not having done so all week long is really showing in my squats but i still hit it hard knowing i’ll feel it even harder the next day

day 622 – lunchtime don

imagerather than eating a salad today, i met up with a friend and had myself a spicy tuna don to make my tuesday lunch a special one. i guess this might be a way to get my heart rate and blood pressure back up to beat normally again. it is such a nice day outside, perfect to be strolling outside. i would use that as an excuse to get out and then hit the gym tonight to burn off some of that lunch