reflecting reality

highschool really did feel like just yesterday. just like majority of highschoolers, i graduated and went onto university thinking i had it planned for the rest of my life. truth is, that thought couldn’t have been any more incorrect and far from reality. i went on to graduate just like how my parents had mapped it out, with an honours degree in environmental design. after a bachelor, i was suppose to do my masters of architecture and become a fully licensed architect. that never happened because acceptance rate was one in ten. i took a brief break but have been working since then. my point is, life is far from how i had imagined it straight out of highschool. i’ve chosen a less traveled career path unlike the stereotypical asian jobs. i’ve believed that my friends circle will remain unchanged. i’ve been misled that i’d meet someone who would treat me like a destination. i’ve learned that growing up requires unlearning the learned. it’s been a struggle as i continue to walk down this path establishing myself as a professional and finding where i truly belong. the start of the year has been really good to me; working my butt off has earned me respect within my peers. i’ve climbed the work ladder real quick liked my manager forewarned, and as a result have been delegated a lot more responsibilities. nothing was given to me; i had to step up and grasp all the windows of opportunities. because of the obstacles and challenges i overcame, i have become the strong woman i am today. i’m not where i want to be yet, but with my grit drive and determination, i’m have full confidence i will make my dreams a reality. i’m on a mission to finding myself and finding my strong. this is where it all starts and where everything will come together for me 


day 1630 Рkeepsake gems 

highschool best buddy sent over a surprise with pictures she found while cleaning up her house. i laughed when i saw my artona grad pictures. was highschool really that long ago and have i aged since then? what have i accomplished since and was it what i imagined life would be like? no. i graduated highschool expecting i’d have taken my architecture masters, that i’d be working in my dream job making big bucks, that i’d be living in a mansion i designed, that i’d meet someone who treats me as a destination. most of that is just a fantasy, but what’s real is i’m proud of where i am now and the adversity i had to face to get here

day 1624 – matters matter

managing people requires understanding behavior and tapping into a person’s mind. in other words, it requires the science of psychology. and that’s exactly what i’m dealing with at work. i have new found respect for my manager as i finally felt what he goes through on a daily basis. after dealing with some, i sat down with him and he helped me put everything back into perspective. truth is stepping into a managing role means i can no longer shy away from dealing with people friction. i may not be used to it yet, but it’s a privilege to be growing professionally. finishing up eleven hours at the office before another two at taekwondo is going above and beyond; but always want more than i can physically give

day 1614 – big cheers

time really does fly by quickly and another three hundred and sixty five posts later, it’s the eve again. as every year comes to an end, i make reflections but the difference is how i plan for the upcoming. 2017 had its challenges and the latter part was tough being involved in many unfortunate events.¬† here’s a toast to hoping for a good 2018 where my pretentious goals and big dreams come true. happy new year and stay true to yourself

day 1598 – team lead

setting up to finish the year strong with an organized workstation, organized priorities, and organized mindset. the new year will bring many new changes and growth for some of us in the design department. the manager already informed the team leads to expect more responsibilities; i’ll have a team of my own to manage. eleven months ago, new manager said he believes i can go as far with my hardwork. my role has grown quite a bit since, but expect that next year will have a drastic change in growing up and stepping up in this organization

day 1127 – post rolling


wrapping up august with a satisfying workout and some intense rolling. the month has flown by so fast and today’s weather tells me summer season won’t last. reflecting on the month, i have made plenty of progress both physically and mentally, and in turn grown as a person. i have a lot to be thankful for, those who didn’t give up on me. i found that if i put my mind to something, i surprise myself and don’t always lose to my own expectations. the self realizations doesn’t end here, it’s only the beginning. stay tuned for the months to come on my journey to finding myself

out from stumbles


lately i have been stuck in a rut fighting myself, losing my sense of direction and not knowing what i want to do with my life. i would carry on and beat myself up, then question whether my existence is meaningless. that’s not to say i have figured everything out, but i have decided to stop beating myself up and believing i am worthless. point is, i need to correct those behaviours because it would only hurt myself and hurting myself is hurting the loved ones around me; i hate to see others get hurt. i do feel apologetic for being silent and quiet about my problems, perhaps i am not quite good at sharing my troubled thoughts. i don’t mean to make you guys worry. it won’t change overnight, but i’ll try harder to be more open and vocal about what goes on inside my head. it’s time to realize i am not suppose to settle to be an average person, just like the millions of other human beings on earth. it’s time to step up my game and live up to expectations and chase my own dreams. doing so is nerve wrecking, but that’s the only way to grow as a person and expand on what i have already accomplished. i know that whichever path i choose to take, i will have the support of those around me. i want the supporters in my life to know that i was born for a reason