day 2407 – brainstorming

the thirty six hour whirlwind of text messages, calls and emails is finally over. i got the all important document that salvaged killarney classes for this weekend. even though it’s fixed in the nick of time, it doesn’t change the fact the business owner didn’t own up to his school and left me out on this insurance roller coaster. if i hadn’t personally reached out, none of the problem would never have been resolved. i’m learning as i go, but i’m also learning how much the grandmaster is willing to do for killarney. maybe it’s really time i start my own thing

day 2400 – parking lot

leaving the office just shy of five and the lot is empty. if anyone ever questions whether i have enough hours for the compressed work week, they should probably question twenty others first. it gets me so frustrated when micro-managing becomes a thing especially when someone’s just trying to mind their own business and get work done. it also bugs me that the high salary goes to waste on things like this

day 2451 – snowy disappointment

the forecast was correct as snow fell overnight. it wasn’t a whole lot, so i could still drive my mom’s car to work. i was hit with a bunch of disappointment at flipping tonight. what i felt in december came back again – i felt like i wasn’t getting the same support and learning opportunity. i’m pretty frustrated i’m not getting what i need to make progress. all i ever hear is i’m making progress, i’m missing technique; but i’m not getting any support or guidance as to how to fix that technique or what it is i need to do to get there. it’s the neglect and the constant empty promises that’s really getting to me. maybe my initial gut feeling was correct and i should pack it in because no one believes i can land anything anymore

day 2298 – room bound

sadly, i slept in and missed the raptors limited edition shoe launch. spent majority of the time at home and mostly in my room because i don’t want to get anyone in my family sick. it’s been a really weird and rough stretch for me the past few weeks. i’ve dealt with a foot injury where after six assessments by different physicians, the final diagnosis is still u determine to date. yet, i still am restricted to basically not do anything i usually do. i’m now trapped with this sickness tagged as bronchitis, but i also have a cold and both combined keeps me up coughing all night long, and gives me a headache when i’m not in bed

day 2170 – road less taken

the tears that rolled uncontrollably down my face was a direct reflection of how i felt inside. as much as i wanted to stop myself in front of people, i simply couldn’t stop the tears from coming down. so much stress has built up around work, taekwondo, people and health that my emotional and physical state are torn inside and outside. all my life i feel i’ve been cheated because i never had the privilege of having the health most people enjoy. still, i push through and train through all my injuries, overcoming one after another. this time is no different, but four months is too long to go through without having a proper diagnosis and method of treatment. no doubt i’m feeling frustrated from the hopelessness

day 2163 – sharing difficulties

a subpar session and horrible stretch has left me frustrated as ever. even the boston pizza spicy thai chicken wrap sitting in front of me didn’t change my appetite or mood. i didn’t expect to have this talk with the flightclub crew, but i realize we’ve become close friends that i’m okay with letting them in on some of my thoughts and feelings, and they also shared theirs. lately, lots of negative thoughts were floating through my head, all of which left me empty. feeling discouraged with the training and progress as of late, i was beginning to accept my fate in my freestyle dream. i opened up and almost cried, but they listened and seemed to understand what i’m going through. maybe they finally realize the strong outer shell i uphold isn’t so strong on the inside

day 2150 – tsujiri cravings

it was a not so productive first grass session for myself. i didn’t feel like i could do anything properly as both my ankles are going haywire. though i wish i could do more and get some good training in, it was a fun grass session nonetheless. i still got to toss frisbees, softballs and footballs around. a bunch of us hit up tsujiri to satisfy our matcha cravings. i love matcha soft serve and i don’t think that’s a secret