day 2170 – road less taken

the tears that rolled uncontrollably down my face was a direct reflection of how i felt inside. as much as i wanted to stop myself in front of people, i simply couldn’t stop the tears from coming down. so much stress has built up around work, taekwondo, people and health that my emotional and physical state are torn inside and outside. all my life i feel i’ve been cheated because i never had the privilege of having the health most people enjoy. still, i push through and train through all my injuries, overcoming one after another. this time is no different, but four months is too long to go through without having a proper diagnosis and method of treatment. no doubt i’m feeling frustrated from the hopelessness

Advertisements

day 2163 – sharing difficulties

a subpar session and horrible stretch has left me frustrated as ever. even the boston pizza spicy thai chicken wrap sitting in front of me didn’t change my appetite or mood. i didn’t expect to have this talk with the flightclub crew, but i realize we’ve become close friends that i’m okay with letting them in on some of my thoughts and feelings, and they also shared theirs. lately, lots of negative thoughts were floating through my head, all of which left me empty. feeling discouraged with the training and progress as of late, i was beginning to accept my fate in my freestyle dream. i opened up and almost cried, but they listened and seemed to understand what i’m going through. maybe they finally realize the strong outer shell i uphold isn’t so strong on the inside

day 2150 – tsujiri cravings

it was a not so productive first grass session for myself. i didn’t feel like i could do anything properly as both my ankles are going haywire. though i wish i could do more and get some good training in, it was a fun grass session nonetheless. i still got to toss frisbees, softballs and footballs around. a bunch of us hit up tsujiri to satisfy our matcha cravings. i love matcha soft serve and i don’t think that’s a secret

day 2135 – champs elysees

today was dedicated shopping day walking down both rue du rivoli and champs elysees. i didn’t buy any designer handbags but i did buy a pair of shoes and some t-shirts. i’m so glad the weather cooperated today since it was all outdoor walking. i guess i shouldn’t be buying much since this trip itself is already costing quite a bit. also, the longer i’ve been away and the more frustrated i am with how some things are dealt with. i’d cut the trip short if i had that option

say 2109 – ankle update

inflammation and infection seems to have gone down but it’s a no go for hockey. i jammed my foot and ankle pretty bad at the tail end of training yesterday, which makes me believe i am in dire need for the ultrasound or mri. it frustrates me because the fact i actually got my foot around on my butterfly twist attempt was also the cause of the jam. i was hoping i would get in earlier from cancelations, but doesn’t look like i’ll get my results before i leave for my trip

day 2091 – ultrasound visit

my ultrasound appointment took way too long for what it was worth. the lady helping me didn’t give any instructions throughout, then took a long time checking the report before re-entering the room and didn’t bother giving me any explanation or answers as she sends me off. i was so unimpressed i just went straight home instead of joining fellow g-string at eastside craft house. i expected a little more than what i got, but maybe i expected too much out of these high paid technicians

day 2085 – quote board

i need to find some way to keep myself motivated at work. too many things are happening around the office, all that doesn’t make any sense from a business standpoint. i can’t wait for the long weekend so i don’t have to deal with the changes that just keeps getting worse one after another. on the bright side, i’m just two days away from the squirtle team getaway to vancouver island. we don’t have much planned, but whatever it is will be better than what it is now