day 2451 – snowy disappointment

the forecast was correct as snow fell overnight. it wasn’t a whole lot, so i could still drive my mom’s car to work. i was hit with a bunch of disappointment at flipping tonight. what i felt in december came back again – i felt like i wasn’t getting the same support and learning opportunity. i’m pretty frustrated i’m not getting what i need to make progress. all i ever hear is i’m making progress, i’m missing technique; but i’m not getting any support or guidance as to how to fix that technique or what it is i need to do to get there. it’s the neglect and the constant empty promises that’s really getting to me. maybe my initial gut feeling was correct and i should pack it in because no one believes i can land anything anymore

day 2331 – no headway

i carried around a heavy heart today because i’m not sure what my tricking future holds. today is technically the last class day of classes and i haven’t made any headway. i couldn’t say anything while i was with the gang, but i broke the moment i got home. for the first time, i spilled what my mind and body has been intending to do. it made me think back on all that’s happened and all that didn’t. it hurts me so much that it may have come to an end. all i could do is cry myself to sleep

day 2324 – reasons to quit

rough day doing flips today made me think of a lot of things that wasn’t suppose to cross my mind. i get the feeling others have already written me off and that i’ll no longer be able to land anything anymore. it’s unfair to be left hanging and it’s the main reason i’m considering quitting. i’m not a person that can settle with no foreseeable goals. in my mind, i’m thinking if i don’t land a new move either webster, butterfly twist, flash or flash gainer before the end of this year, i’m going to call it quits. maybe it’s better for everyone anyway so i’m not given false hope that i can be any good

day 2278 – back handspring

i’m very happy to have ended my dry spell by landing my back handspring on floor after class. this is a move i wanted a while back but was told to hold off until my back tuck was consistent. drilling it the past weeks while staying patient with my bounding moves has really paid off. although it’s been feeling good the past week and getting spotted floor attempts, i couldn’t get myself to floor it by myself. good thing i was pushed to just do it today and landed a decent one on my first attempt. aside from my back handspring, i’ve been feeling pretty good with a few other moves

day 2210 – matcha cavery

been craving matcha soft serve for several weeks running. i didn’t want to think of it as a reward in any way. i think i’ll only feel deserving once i land my btwist. i’m grateful that my coach is helping me and also offering me a prize if i land it, but unfortunately tonight wasn’t the night. i know i shouldn’t put a deadline to some things like such, but my goal is to have him see me land my btwist before he leaves for vacation in september. i also have interest in back tuck variations once i get my x-out consistent

day 2184 – taro ball

flipping was made difficult when my right glute suddenly started cramping after some front sweep drills. training was compensated but i was determined after some lacrosse ball rolling and stretching. i still continued to do what i could and made much progress on my x-out; so much i had the courage to try one on the floor. i think it’s getting really close. we ended the night going for noodles, shaved ice dessert, pokemon raid, and a visit to wu’s. not a bad way to end a friday night

day 2147 – back at flips

ever since i got back from my europe trip, my body has been experiencing nonstop and soreness. soreness from one thing hasn’t left my body and more soreness is added from another activity. i’m still really happy to be training again and seeing the people i’m used to doing flips with. working on arabians after hours because i haven’t landed anything in a long, long time. it’s definitely time to get a head start on some new moves and make better progress