building 2017

image

2016 was one heck of a crazy roller coaster ride. the past twelve months gave me ample opportunities to experience more of what life is about. i found myself in the darkest moments where i shut myself off from the world, fluctations and eating problems ensued. i managed to dig deep with the support of my close ones, and got myself back together. nothing came easy as nothing worth achieving ever comes easy. behind closed doors, i fought many battles that no one knew about, but the most important thing is i never gave up on myself. i came to realization that i don’t want to remain stagnant and don’t want to remain the same so i took on some challenges. i defined what my goals were and was proactive in taking the necessary steps to get myself there. through the hard times i gained a lot of knowledge and strength that no doubt made a better me. it made me realize i’m much stronger than i think i am and need to get even stronger to withstand. i’m much closer to where i want to be but i’m not where i want to be yet. i’m still working on becoming the best version of myself

finished 2016 on a high note and looking to build a strong 2017 with bigger and more ambitious goals. it’s time to take it up a notch or even two and fulfill whatever my heart desires

  • stay as healthy and as injury-free as possible
  • train smarter and eat properly with sufficient sleep
  • be more disciplined and focused towards my goals
  • continue to work on my confidence level
  • love myself for who i am
  • communicate more with family and friends
  • explore the world and expand my horizon
  • attain supplementary diploma
  • appreciate being a workaholic, but also appreciate the little things
  • save up for the number game
  • revisit photography
  • do more of what sets my heart on fire

i’m pumped to make the next twelve months the best months i’ve ever had. find my strong. it’s now or never

Advertisements

fulfilment

image

heaving a ten tonne rock off my shoulders is an appropriate representation as i haven’t felt so relieved in far too long. it may not mean anything to others, but to me, no words can describe how much receiving that call means to me. for the past year, i struggled to find myself, to accept myself and to be myself. i would hate myself for never being good enough at everything and for anything, often had internal war within. i went though down times that caused eating problems which consequently wrecked my body in too many ways. i bottled up all my problems and feelings, and avoided sensitive topics at all costs. it got to the point where i lost interest in a lot of things and wanted to confine myself in my own space so i didn’t have to talk. at last i opened up to a selected few; i need not to mention any names as you know who you are. i’m thankful that while i was going through my wildest and worst times, you came to the rescue and stood by me. thank you for being patient with me when i was going through some of the roughest times. for piecing me together and keeping me together when i was self destructing. for not rushing me to become something i wasn’t ready to become. for supporting me to find what i truly wanted. for accepting me with open arms and caressing me when i needed you most. it’s you that kept me afloat and a good reason why i’m still alive and striving to this day. through this process i’ve learned an abundance of things –  it’s okay to have weak moments but i’ve learned to be strong. many times i thought i had turned the corner, only to stumbled back in. today i can safely and assertively say i have found my way out of this gigantic hole, and i will only move forward in the direction i’ve always wanted to go but didn’t dare to go. i have a very good reason to smile as i’m leaving everything behind and starting my new episode fresh. i have found myself and i’ll be chasing whatever fulfills my heart

day 1177 – vantage point

image

taking a step back and putting everything on hold to regroup, recharge and recalibrate myself. i’ve been too distracted lately and not loving myself for who i am; if i don’t, no one would. the toxic feeling got too far to the point where i thought i wasn’t worth. it was a long overdue reset day where i did nothing related. i wanted a break and i got it, but now it’s time to find that fire and move forward in the right direction

day 1127 – post rolling

image

wrapping up august with a satisfying workout and some intense rolling. the month has flown by so fast and today’s weather tells me summer season won’t last. reflecting on the month, i have made plenty of progress both physically and mentally, and in turn grown as a person. i have a lot to be thankful for, those who didn’t give up on me. i found that if i put my mind to something, i surprise myself and don’t always lose to my own expectations. the self realizations doesn’t end here, it’s only the beginning. stay tuned for the months to come on my journey to finding myself

day 1093 – dial back

image

a day of climbing out of the dark and back into the light. the past forty eight hours had a lot more downs than ups, but i will spend much of the next hours, days, weeks and years making it infinitely better. i am strong enough to withstand the circumstances thrown at me. it is time to repair myself and look for new directions. i can always bank of having companions by my side to talk it over

day 1060 – transpire

image

sixteen timezones apart, no problem; a hundred timezones apart, still no problem. good friends keeping me afloat on this one because they will understand even when they don’t understand. she tells me you have to take their downs if you want to be a part of their ups; sometimes you fall because there’s something that you’re suppose to find. what i am searching for?? how deep do i have to dig?? that’s something i must find for myself

day 1057 – walking in rain

image

a walk in the drizzling rain got me a little wet, but left me feeling refreshed. when i am alone, i think and think until i overthink everything. i’ll always find something to think about even when there’s nothing to think about. sometimes life let’s you wander off to nowhere in particular and leave you hanging just so you can learn a little more about yourself and perhaps find yourself. i got my rest, i got my time off; it’s time to look for steps to do something that will lead me to what i my soul is searching for