shaping 2018

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2017 was challenging that staggered between many emotions, some happy, some successful, some difficult, some burdensome and some heartbreaking moments. i was struck by my most depressing moments that resulted in bottling up emotions where self destruction happened. underneath the outer shell, was three hundred and sixty five days of constant battle that left many unseen scars. after this three hundred sixty five day battle, i came to realize i had ample growth: grew stronger, became braver, gained experience and expanded my knowledge. the struggles gave me a different perspective in life, the achievements gave me hope to to continue to climb. life is a journey defined by how well one copes after being knocked down. looking forward into the next twelve months, i’ll regroup and pull myself together to find my strong. i’m a fighter and won’t stop short of reaching my goal. as long as i stay strong, keep grinding and never settle for less than my full potential. life is about betterment and i’m committed to being the strongest version of myself

the latter part of 2017 wasn’t the best of days and was a true test of patience. the long drought, the fluctuating health, the seesawing emotions were all big obstacles, but i made sure all loose ends were closed. waving 2017 goodbye knowing 2018 has much more for me in store

  • get back healthy and stay as injury-free as possible
  • consistent training and eating with proper sleep
  • step up my game and take it to the next level
  • setting my priorities and boundaries
  • love myself for who i am, love my family, love my friends
  • stay focused towards advancement
  • attain more designations
  • save up for the numbers game
  • explore and travel the world
  • devote more time on what sets my heart on fire
  • step out of my comfort zone and expand my horizon
  • acknowledge being a workaholic but appreciate the little things

i’m ready to start 2018 off strong and be the stubborn goal digger that i am. just remember the best has yet to come

day 1093 – dial back

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a day of climbing out of the dark and back into the light. the past forty eight hours had a lot more downs than ups, but i will spend much of the next hours, days, weeks and years making it infinitely better. i am strong enough to withstand the circumstances thrown at me. it is time to repair myself and look for new directions. i can always bank of having companions by my side to talk it over

day 932 – unyielding

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if taping up my thumb solves the problem then there’s no problem. a visit to the doctor might be inevitable if the pain persists, but in the meantime, let’s get some work done. this place has been more than a sanctuary for me through my many moods and emotions. whatever i am going through, be it stresses and problems, the gym and its iron is the cure to most of it

day 914 – leaf through

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came across this as i was leafing through my phone album for a kickass picture request. going through these pictures bring back so much memories, the times when i seemed to have a better grasp of competition. deep down i know i miss competition and really want to be back in the game, but knowing i will not return until i can step up my game. it’s been far too long since i last competed. the longer i’m away from the competition stage, the more scared i feel. i hope i’m able to control and improve not only my game, but my state of mind

day 758 – physio checkup

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having my regular morning physio check up and it was a positive one, held up nicely since last visit and that’s huge for me. it’s a sign of progress and a big step in the right direction considering i have been doing a fair amount of my activities during this time span. my reward for having such positive feedback is some trolling courtesy of my physio and kinesiologist who demanded some unexpected numbers and then threw a curveball at me. i had a lot of hesitation but they gave me the sense there was no way out of it knowing i must do it or i am not going home

day 677 – last of it

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hamberite catching up time with more shaved ice at icepik which was fitting for a scorching hot sunday afternoon. call me old school, i stuck with green tea flavour just like last time despite hundreds of other possible combination. i promised myself this is the last of the dessert pigging out for a while because there’s been too much of it lately and not doing me any good

sunrun: an episode of character building

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for the past four months, i have been avoiding and stressing out over the sun run because it feels like a neverending marathon to me. today, i can sit here confidently and say that it’s a mission of character building and realization, and it’s a mission accomplished. i went into the race not knowing what to expect but i knew i had something to prove to all those doubters out there. i think the reason my kinesiologist has been giving me such a hard time and always doubting me is so he could provoke that competitiveness out of me and prove him wrong. even though i made the time that people said i couldn’t, i can’t help but feel some disappointment of not making the time i was secretly aiming for. but when i have crossed the finish line at the end of the run, and i still feel amazing as if i just ran a 5km race, that’s when i know i really should have pushed myself harder and made a better time. all in all, it was a good run in the books and i got myself respectable result, much credit goes to my running partner for not giving up on me. but more importantly, through all this, it was an episode of realization about my character that only made me a better person. when i said i would do something and set a goal for myself, i have to keep at it and never quit until i see the finish line. i may have to take back my statement about running not being my thing, because i think i will continue to strive for better time next time, whenever it may be. this was all made possible because of all the doubters out there, my running partner and my kinesiologist who kept pushing me every step of the way and then keeping my body sane. my legs have never felt this good for the longest time and still feels good after the run, and that i am grateful for