living through my falls

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it’s unbelievable how fast things could change and how far things could fall. outside my shell, it’s hard to tell i have lived through two very rough weeks. but beneath my shell, my life felt very close to the “underworld”, filled with mayhem that’s got me feeling rocking bottom. the descend started off with a week long fever, cough then cold. i couldn’t muster much activity during this time; i was bed ridden and under endless medication majority of the time. my body felt weak as ever; all the ground i’ve gained has been lost, and deep down i felt even worse about myself because i couldn’t do anything to change it. luckily, i had a personal nurse that took care of me and almost felt more concerned about my health than i ever was. just as i was recovering from sickness, the nightmare hit me hard – literally. ever since being struck at dodgeball playoffs, i felt like i was living in a really bad dream. having a concussion is scary because everything felt out of whack. my head and neck were throbbing, my movements were slowed, my speech and thoughts were disoriented, my appetite was affected – the bottom line is, i wasn’t able to function like my normal self. what made it difficult was i couldn’t tell people what i was going through nor could i disclose the severity fearing they will not let me continue with my upcoming events which means so much to me. i’m feeling slightly better with each passing day and a week after the incident, i can safely say recovery seems like it’s on course. thankful mo has been by my side during this rough span. just having his presence makes things better and gives me the inspiration to think on the bright side even when times get tough. i’ve fallen very far down and lost a lot of the gains i’ve been working hard at, but now is really not the time to hang my head. i’m not okay with myself and my performance in it’s current stage, so i’m going to make it right. i must get it together and make up that ground in a hurry. it won’t be easy, but it will be done

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day 988 – doctor blows

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going in to see a medical doctor to satisfy my parents’ even though i knew it was going to be a total waste of time, and i couldn’t be more right. started off the week with a 39 high fever, dropped down a degree or two, but suddenly shot back up to 39 and now i even have cold-like symptoms. the doctor told me i don’t have strep throat, something i could have concluded myself. if i wasn’t semi dying, i wouldn’t even think twice about going in at all. what a way to spend my special one monther

day 987 – dozing

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the fever that i thought went away seems to come and go, and come back again. took some extra strength drowsy pills that put me right out and gave me a good night’s sleep, but i woke up feeling like i am taking on a cold as well. i don’t know how to get rid of this lingering illness. all my parents ever tell me is to see a doctor, but they never seem to understand that from the second a step in the clinic to actually seeing the medical doctor is a complete waste of my time. all i ever get from doctors is useless information i could have told myself

day 986 – my cup of tea

imagecame down with a nasty cough, headache and later found out i have a 39 degrees fever. got plentiful of rest throughout the day coupled with lots of honey lemon water and drugs. my personal nurse made a surprise visit and came in through my front door to meet my folks for the first time. glad he’s always watching out for me and bringing me more than just medications when i need it most