a much delayed sick day and stayed day home to do nothing. even after sleeping in until ten in the morning, i still felt really crappy. not only has my head been hurting constantly for weeks, i could feel my blood pressure is at a low and couldn’t get my head or body to function. knowing so, i had to deliberately feed myself some salt. although i didn’t go into work, i was still checking my work email hourly. not being able to make it out to hockey game isn’t so bad, but it’s alarming when i felt indifferent missing it
crappy does it when showing up to hockey with the last of my fuel to do everything i could do and still get shat on for one thing i didn’t do. it also doesn’t help that the cherry picking linemate told me i had stopped skating. thanks but no thanks; at least i’m the one up doing forechecks and the one to rush back to finish my backchecks while you wait at the red line for that perfect pass. i got home really bitter and that one thought alone kept me up late at night. it’s one thing to have high expectations, it’s another to be shatting on me for one thing i couldn’t do without gas left in my tank. i’m beyond upset and didn’t feel the need to even react to anymore comments
i finally found my other blanket now that my body has succumbed to some sort of virus. hoping that by burying myself in this blanket and sleeping more today, i will be okay to do my black friday shopping in the morning. i woke up mid day not feeling any less crappy, but still hopeful that a miracle will happen overnight. despite feeling unwell and did nothing today, i received some good news and hope more is on its way
i know there’s a recommended limit within a time span that says you shouldn’t have more than four in an hour, but i was a little desperate to make my throat less grungy. consuming this many just in the morning alone and not having much improvement probably means that it’s not working very well. need to find an alternative source that will do my throat justice, but in before then, i will be coughing all the time before something helpful comes along and cures me
monday blues definitely hit me really hard. woke up with a headache and feeling crappy overall, not wanting to get out of bed, unable to be productive and not knowing what to do with myself. the gloomy wetness outside only makes matter worse and all i want to do is sit around and do nothing. do nothing it was, and i got a starbucks that i don’t deserve one bit. but later in the afternoon, i willed myself to get some stuff done instead of being a completely useless human being
today’s performance is unworthy of this blue uniform. let down a lot of people and most importantly myself with lack of concentration and attention of detail. disappointment all over, i am the harshest critic of myself and should never allow that to happen again. time to tighten it up and be more serious and prepared for the next.