day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

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day 1142 – leisure reading

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slowly but surely my back is able to lift a little more with a little less pain. i’ve been pushing and testing the water for the past two weeks and now i’m almost back to my normal weights. still have to stay away from some lifts and movements until my range increases, but something is better than nothing. my limbs are fatigued but very happy with what my body will allow me to do. getting a head start on the presents i received from mo. he knows my interest within sports and my preference for leisure reading. doms already hit me; i’ll sit back and enjoy my new toys while my legs continue to tear itself apart