day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1248 – stick and puck

image

going stick and puck because i’m still on holiday with some extra free time. i could use a little more exercise or else i shouldn’t be eating tonight. the rink was so cramped since many others also don’t have work. some of the player’s smelled really bad; i could smell some their gear metres away. wish i can go to another one soon so i can go more ice time in

day 1238 – physio fix

image

i needed this physio visit badly enough to call for an emergency appointment. my chest and back was feeling slightly improved upon waking up but still much too impaired. when physio pressed against my ribs and collar bone, i was in a lot of discomfort and couldn’t grasp for air. i know i still need more rest; i’ll take it day by day and feel optimistic that this will get better soon. for all the years he’s treated me, he still shakes his head at me and occasionally scolds me, but is never surprised with what kind of injuries i put up with

day 1192 – fizz see oh

image

getting my maintenance work in for my beat up body so i can continue to beat up my body. i like to be active and i will continue to be for as long as i can. physio did mention he was very pleased with how well i held up for as long as i have been away. it’s also nice to hear from others that they’ve noticed my improvement and acknowledge what i can do; that’s a compliment i’ll gladly take. i’m here because you inspired and challenged me to be, but i’ll never be satisfied with myself because i know i can always be better

day 1125 – readjust

image

checking in with physio to make the readjustments required so i can function optimally. sneaking a picture in between sets of side plank with disc. the back has progressed each and everyday since wreckage, but nowhere near where it needs to be. then again, very little can stop me from doing what i like doing. since i am off limits, i was able to sit down and get some work and planning done

day 1055 – bounce back

image

a relaxing walk in the sunshine after a strong lifting session. after a couple of less encouraging days last week, i am trying to bounce back by starting off this week strong. spent the first day of summer setting more personal best numbers and exceeding my expectations at the rack. the goal number is in sight and i am starting to believe what i was aiming for is possible; i figured it’s all because my mind was being a baby all along. i’m also happy that i’ve maintained my box jumps even after such a long lay off. i’ll keep working and improving until i reach and surpass all of them

day 1009 – fix the unfixed

image

an appointment was more than necessary because my parts are not feeling right. just having one of my periodic tune up because i tend to go crazy and do stupid things to myself, but now is not the time as it’s time to lighten up again. i feel more reassuring after being realigned and everything is suppose to work like normal. i am reminded time after time to play responsibly at playoffs this weekend