day 2320 – low life

sleepless on a sunday night does not bode well for monday morning. i needed a coffee first thing when i got into work. i couldn’t help but stay awake thinking and overthinking of all the things i may have to give up. i can’t stop myself from crying thinking my life as an athlete could come to an abrupt end. i hadn’t done all that i wanted to accomplish and i clearly hadn’t expected it to approach so soon. i can’t stand to open up and tell many of my injury status so keeping it to myself was my next best option

day 2213 – term ends

i survived one of the busiest summer term in my years at killarney. taekwondo in general has taken a toll on me and given me a lot of pressure. past few weeks has been nothing but preparing my students for both the colour belt test and blackbelt test which takes place tomorrow and next sunday. i poured my heart and soul in preparing them, hoping that they can perform at their best. their test aside, i’m also thinking about a more daunting task and milestone for myself. a milestone that i do not feel prepared for because of the lack of guidance from the grandmaster. i know that i’ll have to gear down because the last thing i want is to disappoint

林奕匡 – 有淚多好

it’s a good song, but a sad one. a song that looped and looped over hundred times in my car and on my computer because it speaks for my heart. i can’t explain and don’t want to try to explain why tears just keep rolling uncontrollably. all this is just wreckage to my soul, and i’m ready to pull out to end the misery. every day i tell myself that this will all be over some day. i guess i’m just waiting for the moment to speak and get it over with