day 1391 – stat work

the office was as empty as the roads were during rush hour today. the office was quiet on a statutory holiday but the increased productivity was much needed for my friday deadline. feeling unrested and uneasy all week long because all i can think about is my teammates flying off to nationals; i should be with them, but i’m not. i’ve been using many things to numb my feelings and emotions until something can act as sleeping pills. work is one of them and i keep being my workaholic self to not allow myself any down time so i don’t end my night in tears

day 1287 – emotional eating

img_20200204_1658298040987941375280696.jpgcould barely keep my eyes open this morning but i still felt okay during the day. i had all the intention to go training tonight but everything kind of fell apart when evening hit. i went way off track i couldn’t get myself to go to training. instead, i turned for home where emotional eating happened. disappointment loomed over me and i feel so utterly disgusted at myself for being useless. i just want to pull a blanket over my head or better yet bury myself in a hole

day 929 – resurrect

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tomorrow i am going to get some me time to reboot both my mind and my system. i feel i need some time to regroup and make sure i’m back on track doing things i need to be doing and doing things i enjoy doing, for the right reasons. the past week or two has been lousy¬†where i am just going through everything mindlessly like a robot but not thinking twice about what i am seeking out of it. and during this time, there’s either been a lot of emotional eating or unhealthy thoughts and choices made. i really should put things back into it’s proper routine and get back in the right frame of mind to make the best choices for myself moving forward. february is a short month, so better not waste time and get back on track as soon as i possibly can