day 1856 – disassembled

pain is something i have a lot of experience of and much tolerance for. of the fifteen years i’ve been seeing my physio, i never felt so close to passing out from the pain inflicted. wanting to get me back into my sports and away from dysfunctional shoulder, he didn’t hold back and completely crushed me into bits. i laid on the massage table for an extra minute before i could regain my senses and pick myself off it and onto my feet. even at the end of the day, it hurt so much that my whole shoulder is numb and to the point it’s lost all its powers and ability to move. the analogy is a race car arriving at a pit stop to get ripped apart for repairs. felt a lot like physio tore me apart and reassembled my shoulder. this is the price i pay to fix my shoulder, but i’d rather pay for it to get me back in the game without restrictions

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day 1540 – remote access

it looks like a battle of laptops, but i’m actually remotely accessing my work computer through the network. i have been granted permission to work at home on selected days to accommodate the hardship of the commute and discomfort of my ailing hand. people should trust and respect that i’m trying my best not to disrupt the work flow. i could easily take the days off and leave my team with my work, but i’m not the irresponsible type. it’s tough that i have a dysfunctional hand and must miss all my physical activities. beyond that, what kills me is knowing and then losing hope that my stuff is at all important. why am i so dumb repeating myself more than twice thinking it’ll stick

day 387 – dysfunctional

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my uncooperative legs have been preventing me from carrying out my regular routines. currently on the mend with my finger crossed whatever that’s bothering me is┬ánot too serious like the original diagnosis because i hate being benched and watching from the sideline. i hate it when it interferes with my routines and no one understands how i feel how hopeless and desperate i feel