day 1502 – goalie gear

it’s so exciting i got my hands on some old goalie gear. i’ve got half the gear and hopefully another friend can lend me the other half to complete the set. there’s no secret i’ve always wanted to try playing goal sever since i was a kid growing up and watching hockey. in the end my lack of size is a disadvantage to goaltending, but i think i’ll still be a good one despite being small. it never hurts to try it and make it a dream come true

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stay the course

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it’s been an atrocious week for me. ever since dodgeball playoffs ended last saturday, my world has turned upside down. a visit to emergency room on sunday morning didn’t give me the slightest idea of my finger injury status. i haven’t got a clue what was going on, what my path looks like, or what i should do. my biggest fear is the severity will keep me from training for what quite possibly is my one and only chance. i was really worried because i am already feeling pressed for time because there isn’t an abundant of time remaining and there’s a lot of training and learning needed to be done. this competition is one that i have been really looking forward to, so i would be more than disappointed if i cannot compete. but at the same time, knowing i will not risk entering the competition if i know i am not prepared to give myself the best chance possible. i was beyond stressed out because i couldn’t even tell my loved ones the truth of what happened and what was going on in my head. i was forced to really downplay the whole situation and acted like nothing is wrong when truth is everything was clearly not right. i spent the next four days really battling myself and everything else, and at some point it got so low i felt like i was a wreck. thankfully i am surrounded by people willing and ready to help. i knew i couldn’t continue to let everything get out of hand; i needed to pick myself off the ground and regroup because no matter what tomorrow holds, i needed to fix my finger. an acupuncture treatment was a good start to reduce the swelling and increase the mobility. a date to see my physio really put me at ease cause i trust him more than many, so when he says he’s almost certain there’s no fracture, i believe him. slowly but surely, it’s making progress and it’s looking a lot like my hopes for competition is still alive

resolution series: [twentynine] walk away

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you can say life is both long and short. how much you get out of it is entirely up to you because you are in the driver’s seat controlling the wheel and choosing your path. the shotgun may have inputs on which route to take and passengers may try to initiate backseat driving, but in the end, you are steering the wheel and that’s what matters most. somehow i find an amusement park resembles a person’s life at different stages of life. each day is very much like a ferris wheel; there’s a routine and certain tasks you must complete and once that cycles one round, you get up and do it all over again. and then there’s a roller coaster where it takes much time to build up and then go from absolute high to the uttermost low in a matter of seconds, or milliseconds. the hardest part of life is living a life doing things you hate doing. makes waking up every morning that much harder than it already is. it’s time i learn to step away from the things i dread doing and concentrate on striving for the things i like. maybe a change is in order to leave behind the load of what isn’t my responsibility and pursue what i am passionate about. in the end it is taking the good out of the grand scheme of things and making the most out of what you can, not what you are given. if you don’t like what are you doing, don’t follow blindly, walk away and choose your own destiny

day 76 – shot shot shot

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brought home another shot glass to add to my collection to keep track of my travels and destinations. my hope is i will eventually have a big enough collection to store shot glasses from all my travels around the world. it is probably easier to go to bed and dream about it because in reality i might end up in debt