day 2140 – scan report

my family doctor didn’t call me about the report, so i called her. it’s a good thing i did because my ultrasound report was overlooked. there happens to be some fluids found in my tendons which could very well mean the initial diagnosis is still valid. she was unable to explain much to me and didn’t know what to do, but referred me to a sports medicine doctor and suggested sports physiotherapy. today reminded me why i hate her nurses, they made a mistake in putting patients into the rooms and proceeded to blame me for going into the wrong room that they had led me into. i let them have an earful because i wasn’t about to take that blame

day 1926 – open flips

hitting up open practice because i want to get the numbers in before i leave for vacation. it’s late for my early work schedule and i know i’ll be tired, but i felt the need to do so. i’m afraid i’ll lose my front tuck and back tuck during the time that i’m out of town and don’t know where to located a flipping facility. my back tucks have been getting way more consistent. feeling more comfortable doing them on my own on blue mat puts a smile on my face

day 1908 – bought in

felt like i needed to take a plunge into hustle mode and did just that in a gigantic way. i’m frustrated with the stall and the lackluster effort i’ve mustered as of late. let’s not have any more unnecessary setbacks that’s going to prevent me from where i need to go. instead, i’ve decided to take my destiny in my own hands and make a hard push for everything i’ve ways wanted and envisioned. i won’t let anything stop me when i’m being held accountable

day 1882 – blurried

my goal got a little blurried last two days so needed a reminder for myself. i’m not happy with how i went off track the last two days. all i know is it’s time to pull myself back into it. i need to find ways to hold myself accountable for the things i set out to do. recognizing i faltered and knowing i’m the only one who can fix the problem and move onwards to get it right again

day 1866 – sloppiness

spent time running through some basic kicks and then taeguek 1 all the way to taebaek. i’ve realized too much devotion to instructing as taken away from practicing and bettering my own skills. i can’t remember the last time i did a poomsae or kicks for real. i feel utterly rusty and even disgusted with how sloppy its become. i need to dust of all that rust and keep up with my own practice. as an instructor and a competitor, it would be a disgrace to lose all that proficiency i once trained really hard for. it’s only fair i continue to practice as i expect my students to do the same

day 1827 – quick reminder

thank you for dropping this quote off on my desk because it saved me from going down a rabbit hole. i have always been a firm believer that discipline is what got me farther than i would have imagined and this time is no different. coincidentally it’s the turn of a calendar month which is the perfect time to pick myself up and try to turn things around. i’m set on making august a good month and get back to where i need to be – my top form

day 1788 – stranger things

img_20200130_21205677140746512928020.jpgi’ve failed to do any of my heavy lifts for a while now because i’ve been so occupied with many things from all directions. to be honest, i think the number one cause that’s keeping me away is being overworked at work. i’m constantly stressed and sleep deprived, i think more than half a year without vacation makes me more weary than i know it. there’s not much of a work life balance and that needs to change. i’m going back to the drawing board to map out what needs to be done to get myself back into equilibrium – that means going back into the gym doing things i love

day 1743 – repose

i miss the gym, a lot, but i’m going to resist from going to the gym for at least two more days. i need the rest and my body needs to recover after such a crazy but fun-filled birthday week of festivities. when i step back into the gym, i want to be fresh and ready to begin my new program. let me relinquish the feeling of not being sore for forty more odd hours because once the grind starts, maybe i’ll only feel soreness. spent an evening catching up on my news feed and tvb drama

day 1731 – project overload

img_20200130_2134022509662159649638735.jpgit’s design reshuffle day and coordinated much of the move, but i was also the culprit who stalled the whole process. essentially everyone was waiting for me to move out of my workstation before they can move in, but i was adamant of replying four nasty emails. the bombardment of emails overnight came from someone who had no business in minding my projects; she’s not my manager and i need not report to her. she’s been slowly working at some leads and managed to break two. she’s turned her attention to me but has yet to find a way to unravel me. some say i’m really good with keeping my poker face and not getting to me has quite frustrated her. i felt the need to reply all four of them in a way to show she’s got nothing on me. i stand up for not only myself, but for the rest of my design team

day 1721 – crap load

feeling pretty bad at work and also making bad decisions with food. my headache worsened, throat is dry and scratchy, knee is compensating for the hip, and on top of that i’m on some drugs and steroid drops. there’s a lot of work to be done at the office i can’t afford to miss any time. it’s my month to lead the design meetings and i’m currently heavily relied on so i feel obligated to hold down the fort. i toughed it out until the end but i’m going to crawl into bed before nine thirty and hope i wake up tomorrow morning good enough to work