day 1601 – cleaning house

cleaning house today for what no longer should be in my space. i longed should have gotten rid of things that are taking too much of my negative space and not adding to me. i processed all the thoughts in my head space; it became clear that letting things slip has made me discontent and dulled my life. my friends have told me, not just once, that i deserve better for all the things i let slip too far down. they stood by me at my best and at my worst, and that’s what makes them my dearest friends. out with the old and unwanted so i can rebuild on what it means to be happy and what makes me, me


day 1588 – gymery

though not cleared for most activities i do, the surgeon has given me the okay to be here. my gear was ready and my bag was packed while i waited for his signal. it’s the first time in over two months i could legitmately be here in my happy place doing the happy things. a stupid setback happened due to my impatience and inability to stay put. i thought i was okay, i wanted to be okay, but only after exerting it did i find out it was still premature


day 1556 – proceed with caution

first time back in the gym after a crushing injury that left me splinted. i still have a splint on but i couldn’t wait any longer to get back into the gym even if it meant i was just in the environment. during the almost four weeks i’ve lost five pounds which is good but bad. was cautioned to keep it real light and that’s what i did cause i couldn’t actually manage much. i should be prepared that it’ll be a long road back; there’s a lot of rehab and training days ahead of me. i’m happy just being able to step foot in the gym again because it’s really the place i want to be in once i can be

day 1536 – sandwich 

saturdays is barely considered meal prep. if lucky, i’ll get two toasts in; if not, one will get me through until dinner time. all these years i’ve managed killarney saturday classes as well as i could and no question i put my heart and soul into it. if sifu stopping by today changes because i taught wearing a t-shirt instead of full uniform due to a broken thumb, i have nothing to say except it’s unfortunate. parents were concerned for me; why i wasn’t rest the injury and taking a day off when i’m obviously in considerable pain. i am here being my workaholic self because i know my students need me more

day 1509 – power tool

today was my plyo focus day so here i was deloading but accelerating. it was pretty empty at the hour i went so i made good use of it and took up as much space as i possibly could. the power that i used to rip the olympic bar caused scrapes and bruises on my shin. that was a very satisfying session as i unlocked the fear that bands are over my head. clearly i had nothing to fear and my power game is able to handle it

day 1492 – low light 

change of plans and headed straight home because the low blood sugar hit me this afternoon. required a short nap and woke up feeling so so but still set on a trip to nash anyway. did not expect a whole lot so but nothing bad happened so i’d say i passed. trying to brush off the disappointments one after another, but at the end of the day i need to learn i’m living for myself and doing what’s best for me. maybe it’s good to learn to expect everything from myself and expect nothing from others

day 1470 – forkless 

in my packed lunch today is one of my favorites korean bean sprouts that my mom knows i love. eating late lunches means people get dibs on everything, everyday. cutlery especially forks miraculously go missing at the office, but i got to eat my lunch somehow. if all spoons go missing i’ll soon be eating with whatever utensil is left which could be knives or tongs